'I commented on a post of my BF on a 'are we dating the same guy?' page. He found out.' UPDATED

"I (28f) commented on a post of my BF (29m) on a 'are we dating the same guy?' page and he found out. What are my next steps?"

I (28f) recently found a post of my boyfriend (29m) on a local "are we dating the same guy?" page. We have been together for five years. There were several comments on there of girls stating they texted him/went out with him and I couldn't tell if this had happened recently or if it could have been from a long time ago.

So I commented on it anonymously asking if anyone has talked or hooked up with him recently and a girl responded saying she did and asked if I did as well and if I had any "tea" on him.

I probably should have said I was his girlfriend, but I was so embarrassed I couldn't, and worried I wouldn't get any information so I just said he told me not to talk or sleep with anyone else and he wouldn't either but that we never hooked up. She responded back claiming he said the exact same thing to her. I then asked when they last hooked up and she never responded back.

My boyfriend then comes home and is furious, slamming doors, giving me dirty looks, but won't say anything to me. I know he knows I was the one who anonymously posted because I had suspicions that he had been cheating on me and have recently been asking him, and he denied doing so.

I then go back to the post and all of her responses are deleted so I know she told him, and I'm sure he told her to delete them, but he's pissed at me for it.

Anyway, what are my next steps? Do I confront him about it or just wait and see if he says anything?

Also, we rent an apartment together and are on the same lease so that makes things even more complicated.

This is what people had to say to OP:

International-Arm790 said:

You break up with him duh. How much time is left on your lease

OP responded:

Oh I am, I'm just wondering if I should even say anything about it or just let it be. A little over five months

MightySD69 said:

Talk to whoever owns the lease and tell them you need to move out. And make sure you move out cause he has been cheating on you the whole time. Get an STD & HIV test done asap. Do take steps to get away from him asap have an exit plan.

Don't try and forgive him no need to confront him you know what he did. Can you go stay with your parents if yes take your important things and go. And tell all friends he cheated so they know.

OP responded:

I will reach out to them first thing on Monday. Thank you for your advice

raerae1991 said:

Leave him, why do you need a confession from him, you already know what’s going on

And OP responded:

I guess I want some kind of closure, although I don't think him admitting to it will give me that anyway. Plus he'll probably lie so it's just my own delusions wanting him to realize he's wrong. It's definitely over between us.

Ten days later, OP shared this update:

First off, I want to thank everyone for all of your helpful advice on my original post. He did admit that the girl sent him a screenshot of the post and he was just upset because he didn't like a bunch of random people "knowing his business." But I also found out that he brought that same girl to our apartment when I was out of town a week prior and they slept together in our bed.

Never apologized for it, but simply stated that if I came home when I said I was (I went to my mom's because we were in a fight and hadn't spoken in days and I decided to stay two days longer) then it wouldn't have happened.

We are absolutely over, and although he had begged me to forgive him for a couple days, he finally got mad enough at me because I wouldn't sleep with him that he left me alone. It's too expensive for me to break the lease, but we live in a two bedroom apartment so I am able to have my own space, or so I thought...

I woke up yesterday at three in the morning wondering where my dog was, as he sleeps with me. I get up and can't find him, but my ex's door is shut so I open it because I can hear my dog sniffing under the door to get out. There he is sitting on the bed with MY phone is his hand, going through it. After we had established that we were not together.

I take it and look at the screen time information and he spent over 30 MINUTES in my saved passwords. So now I am actually concerned and very weirded out and may just ask my mom for a loan to break the lease because he literally creeped in my room when I was sleeping and took my phone to go through it.

Anyway, thank you to everyone for the comments and concerns and advice. Although I feel like I wasted many years with him, it was a growing experience and I will absolutely do better in the future.

Edit: I did also get STD tested as well, just waiting to hear the results back from it.