BF won't invite GF to do Escape Rooms because she solves every puzzle. AITA?
Group problem-solving games like Escape Rooms are all the rage right now.
Friends, family and coworkers can use puzzle themed activities to bond and have a titillating night of brain teasers. However, one boyfriend was tired of bringing his girlfriend along because she was much better at unraveling the mysteries. She was quicker than the rest of the team every time, leaving them nothing to solve. His friends were frustrated, too. They don't want her playing with them anymore and they let her know.
AITA for no longer inviting my gf to the escape room with my friends?
My friends and I(25m) often go to escape rooms in our city for fun. Like, every two or three weeks or so. At first, it was just us, then one guy asked if he could invite his gf. We said sure, and she seemed cool, everything was good.
I started dating 'Beth' (24f) about 7 months ago, and she showed some interest in going to the escape rooms with us. So I checked with the other guys and invited her along.
And this is where the problem started. All of us (4 guys, counting me, plus my friend's gf) are pretty evenly matched when it comes to figuring out the puzzles. We all find it fun to put our heads together and figure it out.
But my gf is considerably better at it than the rest of us. Which is great and all, but she started doing all of the puzzles basically by herself. She was having a good time, but the rest of us weren't.
We were basically standing there watching her do puzzles while trying to get a solution in edgewise. This happened twice, then my friends said they didn't really want her there anymore.
I asked to talk to her first, and then I told her what they said, and asked if she could just sit back and give all of us a chance to solve some of the puzzles too. Then we invited her along again. And it was the same thing.
We got to solve the first couple of puzzles together, and then she just stepped in and did the rest herself. My friends were pretty unhappy, and I honestly didn't have a very good time either. She was the only one having any fun.
She's still invited to everything else we do, but I told her that we weren't having fun with her doing all of the puzzles like that. She's mad at me, and I honestly don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her, but I also don't want to forego something that's important to me for a new relationship.
AITA?
Here are the top comments from readers:
NTA, if she’s better at it then tell her to play with other good players, she was making it boring. You’re there to have fun not necessarily to compete.
NTA She shouldn’t be mad. Everyone recognizes that she’s the best player by a mile, and it’s no fun to watch her solve the puzzles. One solution might be to put her in a room on her own while the rest of you play in another room & see who finishes first. I’m betting she wouldn’t love that, either, though.
The OP responded:
I didn't think of that, but I did recommend some places that I like if she wants to do it solo. That might work. It never occurred to me to rent two rooms at the same place.
If I was OP, I wouldn’t be surprised if your smart girlfriend dumps you for a dude who is smarter. I would not be able to stay with a guy who isn’t as smart as me AND wants me to play down my intelligence. OP, you may be NTA, but neither is she.
NTA. What is the point of even going when you cant take part in the riddle solving. If she doesn't see that she is the AH
Just an extra idea, give her a different task. Give her a notebook, and when she's solved the puzzle, if you guys are still struggling, allow her to be a pseudo game master that can give you additional cryptic clues.
Give her a creative way to solve the puzzles, and clue you into solutions by having to think of a cryptic way or puzzle way to provide clues.
Or something silly even like an additional challenge for her, that she has to wear ear plugs and can't talk. She has to solve off of visual cues and hand communications only between the partners. Can't do anything, only try to point out stuff for others to do.
Essentially creating a handicap for her like in a sporting event where one player is coming in with an obvious skill advantage. If framed right, the additional challenge could make it more fun for her if she finds the puzzles too easy already :)