'My BF's ex-situationship is pregnant and living with him. What should I do?'

"I need advice. My boyfriend’s ex-situationship is pregnant and living in his house, I don’t know how to handle this situation."

Edit: Edit because y’all blew this up 😂 Wow, I didn’t expect this much attention, and I’m honestly howling at some of the comments calling this fake. Sorry to disappoint, but this is my real life, as wild as it sounds.

Since people keep asking — yes, I actually met him at a swingers club. And funny plot twist: the girl he came with that night? I wanted to sleep with her… and I did. And him too. So yeah, it started messy, no denying that.

For the first month I didn’t even know what he did for a living, so the “he’s rich = red flag” comments are missing the point. His money has nothing to do with why I’m struggling — the problem is his inability to set boundaries with the pregnant ex-situationship.

Also, because a lot of you told me to “set a deadline” — I already did. I told him yesterday he has until the end of January to sort this mess out, otherwise I’m walking. So yeah, we’ll see if he grows a backbone or if I’ll be single again by February. Wild story? Yep. Fake? Nope. Life’s just strange sometimes. 🤷‍♀️

—- I (28F) met a guy (35M, let’s call him Max) in a club a few months ago and we clicked instantly. I’ve never felt such a strong connection with anyone before, and he’s deeply in love with me too. We’re very bonded and I feel safe with him.

Not long after we started seeing each other, before we even said “I love you,” he told me something heavy. He had a situationship with a woman before me. She told him she was on birth control, but she wasn’t, and now she’s pregnant. She pushed hard for him to make things official and basically moved into his penthouse (it has two floors — she stays on one, he stays on the other).

They stopped sleeping together a few months before he met me, but he feels obligated to help her because of the baby. Whenever he suggests she move out (he even offered to buy her an apartment), she explodes, yells at him, and accuses him of being a monster who doesn’t want to take responsibility. Her parents are also calling him whenever she has a meltdown, pressuring him to “be with her.”

He tells me he doesn’t want to kick her out because of the baby, and that he plans to ask her to move to another of his apartments once the baby is born (due in December, about 2 months from now). But in the meantime, things are so messy. He can’t stay over at my place or even go out with me without her creating huge drama. He also doesn’t want to tell her about me until after the baby is born.

He has treated me amazingly since day one — no lies, no fishy behavior, he’s an extremely good person. But this whole situation is wearing me down. It’s so hard to spend time together, and I don’t know how long I can handle the chaos.

What would you do in my place? Should I wait until the baby is born to see if things stabilize, or am I being naive giving this relationship a chance? Ask me anything.

This is what people had to say to OP:

tired-as-f said:

You know what to do. Nothing good will come from continuing to date this man.

Sorry-Scratch-3002 said:

I wouldn’t stick around, because for me it doesn’t sound truthful and full of red flags. 🚩 Just a situationship wouldn’t just move in nor demand making it official. And how does one move in without consent? 🚩her parents and him are talking. Situationships doesn’t involve parents since they aren’t real.

🚩if he is able to buy her apartment, he is able to buy new one for himself if any of it would be true and he wants to live separately. Also later in post you say he got multiple already so what’s the problem? 🚩he wants to keep you in secret and isn’t allowed to go out.

For him maybe it was “settling until finding someone better” but he probably didn’t fill her into that. My bet is he is talking to you same story as to her, just roles are reversed.

OP responded:

I understand why it might look like red flags from the outside, and I appreciate you sharing your perspective. But nothing in life is as black and white as it seems online. He’s met all of my friends, and everyone sees how genuine and caring he is.

The parents are involved because where I’m from, that’s normal when someone is pregnant. His struggle isn’t about lying to me, it’s about not knowing how to set a boundary while also feeling responsible for his child. That’s the part I’m trying to figure out how to support or cope with.

And bibamartin said:

Nope. Stay far away from this situation. If you stay with him you will be tied to this woman and their baby for the rest of your relationship. She will continue to cause problems in your relationship and use the baby to keep him close. She will continue to cause chaos and make your life hell.

He seems to be more worried about her and avoiding drama with her than prioritising your relationship. and your needs. This will continue to happen if he doesn't put his foot down. The whole thing is a mess.