BF reveals to GF that he knows the baby isn't his right after she gives birth. CONCLUDED
"My girlfriend just gave birth to our first child. I know I’m not the biological father and I revealed I knew as soon as she gave birth."
throwaway3733339
I’ll try to keep this short because I’m planning to go to a bar soon. I found out when she was about 6 months along. The guy (Bryan) approached me at my work. “Are you Sarah’s boyfriend?”. I said yeah and ask what he wanted. He said he was sorry that he had slept with her and swore he didn’t know that she was with someone (I don’t believe that).
He then pulled out his phone to show the texts between them. They had been sleeping together or “linking up” for at least a year. Then she found out she was pregnant and they came to an agreement to just pretend the baby was mine. In return, she wouldn’t lose her perfect life and he wouldn’t be responsible for a baby.
I knew it was weird. We had been having problems trying for a baby and all of a sudden she got pregnant so easily. But he explained that he had been thinking about it and he recently became a Christian. He said that he couldn’t live his life knowing that I was living a lie while his child didn’t know their real father.
So yeah. I told him I’d keep in touch, and to not say that he said anything just yet. I’ve had a lot of time to think but ultimately I decided to wait until she gave birth. To hurt her in her most vulnerable moment.
I’ll spare the details, but she went into labor, baby was born, and was taken to the NICU to be monitored for a bit. What should’ve been a beautiful moment of me holding my baby, was the most heartbreaking time of my life. Just knowing he was not mine hurt me. Once she was sewn up and comfortable I started packing up my stuff to leave. She asked where I was going and I just told her.
“I know I’m not baby’s name’s father. You can act all shocked but I know. Just ask Bryan to come, I’m positive he’ll sign the birth certificate”. Then I left. She’s been calling my phone over and over (even sending texts as I type this) and has even gotten her sister to call me a few times.
It was hard pretending these last few months but I think I’m satisfied. I feel really really heartbroken though. I was planning to propose to her on the day our baby was born. I was gonna make her the happiest woman ever. Oh well. Im going to go get shitfaced now.
Small update: Head hurts, but I’m home and safe. I wasn’t really expecting this to gain as much traction as it did but I’ll clear up a few things.
Bryan is going to be in the baby’s life if it’s his. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m sure the kid isn’t mine. I’ll go get tested but me and Bryan have been in contact since last night and there isn’t a doubt it my mind. For those of you calling me a psychopath or whatever, I don’t really care.
You’ll all forget about this post in a day anyway, while I’ll have to live with this shit for the rest of my life. What I did wasn’t amazing but I don’t care. All I ever did was treat her amazing and this is how she pays me back. If you think this is fake, go read something else. Doesn’t matter to me.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this initial post:
Stumpy1258
I did a sigh of relief when I saw you're not married to this woman. Take power from that. You can move on much easily.
BANGERSIN
Same good riddance.
ProperStatisticians
I'm so sorry. No one deserves this, the sh*t she pulled is absolutely evil. It will get better with time and you will be happy again with someone who deserves you. Go ahead and let her and Brian deal with this situation on their own.
Kirito-390
Get a DNA test just to be 100% sure the child isn’t yours but you did the right thing leaving her.make sure you have the text from Bryan so she can’t twist the narrative. You also need the DNA test so she can’t put you on child support cuz if your in the USA it’ll be hell to get you off if it once the courts deem you the father.
The OP responded here:
throwaway3733339
I’m like 110 percent sure that’s not my kid just from looking at him but I’ll get the test.
20 days later the OP returned with an update.
'(Update) My girlfriend just gave birth to our first child. I know I’m not the biological father and I revealed I knew as soon as she gave birth.'
throwaway3733339
Hi everyone. I just wanted to start by saying I would’ve updated sooner but it’s takes a bit to get test results back. I’ve also been working on myself in the time being. Thanks for all the support.
I’ll cut to the chase. I am not the father. But I already knew that already deep down. Bryan and the baby are a match so that pretty much answers that question. He’s very excited to be a dad, even despite the circumstances. We’ve kept in touch this whole time and he’s actually a really great guy. Goes to church now, volunteers at shelters, etc.
I’m not sure if we’ll continue to stay in touch after this but I wouldn’t mind getting a drink with him every once in awhile. I hope the kid does great in life. He should with Bryan as his dad.
As for Sarah, around the time I posted she had asked Bryan to be with her officially since there was nothing to hide. As far as I know he has not taken her up on that offer and just wants to coparent for the sake of being in his kids life. I think that’s very smart of him honestly. Me and her have talked as well.
We talked about where it all went wrong. She felt as though I wasn’t there for her fully and just felt unfulfilled. Which I understand. I wasn’t always the best guy but I treated her the best I could. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. She started crying and I did give her a hug but I made sure she knew it wasn’t cause I cared about her.
She’s offered to stay friends and for me to visit if I want but I declined. I’m not really interested in keeping up with her and her kid but I did give her the stuffed animal I was planning to give “our” kid someday as a gift. She’s been staying with her mom, and has fully moved out her stuff. She asked me to keep her number but I blocked her the same day she finished moving out.
So it’s just me now. I’m not gonna lie, my heart has been super heavy. But I think I’ll be okay. There’s a cute girl at my work and we’ve been talking. She’s a single mom and has been awesome so far. I explained that I wanted to go slow cause of my recent breakup and she understands. For now, I just wanna be by myself but I’ll likely give her a shot when I’m ready.
That’s it for now. I’m depressed, but I’m working out now at least. I never want to talk to Sarah and will likely never see her again. It sucks cause she was such a big part of my life but that’s gone now. Thanks for all the support. I’ll answer questions if you guys have more.
Edit: Just wanted to mention that I still don’t feel bad about what I did. I can tell she’s still hurting, but I definitely think it’s deserved still.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this latest update:
hereticallyeverafter
You handled that all incredibly well, I'm glad you gave us an update because this internet stranger was concerned and rooting for you. Everything meant for you will find you, and you'll be a great partner and parent (if you want) one day. Hang in there!
Elnuggeto13
I agree. I suggest just relaxing until he feels that he's ready for another relationship. Until then, just having self care would be enough.
RIPSunnydale
Good luck! Just felt I should mention, though, that repeatedly hooking up with a single mom from work is NOT moving slowly or carefully. If you really want to heal from your last relationship, I'd advise foregoing sex in favor of being single & hanging out with friends.
Also, if you're feeling at loose ends, confused, etc., do a nice, single mom a favor by being careful not to give any impression that you're developing feelings for her if you're honestly not interested in anything lasting. (More peoplesay they can do strictly FWB than can actually do it....)
The OP responded here:
throwaway3733339
Yeah I definitely don’t want to add more drama to her life with her being a mom and everything. I am interested in her I just wanna focus on getting myself in a good spot so I don’t drag sh*t into my next relationship. The intimacy was her idea mostly, she said she was fine with causal stuff. I’d definitely be honest with her if I completely wanted to stop seeing her or didn’t think it would go long term.
GoldenDiamondChild34
Just to let you know her excuse for cheating is so BS. If her needs weren’t fulfilled she should have communicated that instead of lying and waiting to find out if she could get away with cheating or not. OP you handled this so well! I wish you peace in the mind 💖
Almost a full year later, the OP returned with their final update.
'I’m the guy who waited until his partner gave birth before telling her I knew the baby wasn’t mine. Here’s how my life is going!'
throwaway3733339
I keep getting dms asking me to update so here’s one. Been roughly 8 months. Check profile for original story.
No I don’t talk to Sarah. Screw Sarah. Haven’t seen her. Last I heard, she moved to 3 hours away with her mom to be closer to some family. I kept seeing her around town a lot so I’m beyond grateful she’s gone. She would attempt to have conversations with me sometimes in the first month after she gave birth but that soon stopped.
As for Bryan, we text occasionally. And we did go out for that beer. He overall seems happy to be a father, but we don’t talk about Sarah. I don’t keep up much with him anyway. We’re both hardworking men with jobs, kids, and lives to live so it’s kinda hard to keep up. I don’t think they’re together at all but who knows.
Speaking of kids, the woman who was a single mom that I started seeing? We’re still together. Her kid is awesome and I love being her stepdad tbh. So a big middle finger to those who told me to stop talking to her or that it wasn’t gonna work. It may seem like we moved fast but, at this point, I don’t care. I’ve never loved anyone more. We communicate properly, hardly fight, just so much fun.
I initially was gonna cut all contact with her after falling off into a bad drinking habit but she really kept me grounded. I didn’t meet my stepdaughter for awhile, but when I did, I knew I couldn’t leave. Being apart of this little family has healed me in ways I literally can’t fathom.
And before anyone says I just used them to deal with the trauma of not having my own kid, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’m in therapy, I got my sh*t together, and most days I don’t even think about my ex. H3ll, I even forgot about this damn account!
Words cannot describe how much my life has picked up. Thank you reddit strangers for being there in the darkest time in my life. Honestly it helped. Hoping to propose to my girlfriend sometime in the future. That’s it! Bye.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this final update:
Kerogator
Interesting. Big betrayal into immediately moving on with a single mother. You do you OP im wishing you the best. But damned if im not worried for yah.
Jewlsy_bro
Good for you bro.
naidhe
He says he's doing great in the update but the more he justifies himself the worse it all sounds...Like yeah I may have moved on too fast, and I am already a step-father to this child (it's been 8 months people) and I may have had a drinking problem my new partner 'saved' me from, but I am doing great. Great I say!
ka-ka-ka-katie1123
“All I ever did was treat her amazing”
“I wasn’t always the best guy”
Sarah sucks regardless for trying to pass off another man’s baby as OP’s, but I have a feeling OP isn’t the most reliable narrator here.