'I think my boyfriend is lying about being in medical school.' UPDATED

"I think my boyfriend is lying about being in medical school." (UPDATE BELOW)

I (26F) have been dating Sam (31M) for about four months now. We met online and he told me he was going to be a doctor. The first two months were fine but the last two months I have started to feel like he hasn't been honest about several aspects of his life, the biggest being him in medical school.

He used to live overseas and was in medical school there for a short time (I'm pretty sure this is true because I've seen pictures). That was about five years ago. The school that he says he goes to is fairly prestigious, and I have another friend (Jason) who graduated with a medical degree from the same school.

Jason has told me how difficult the program was and how he never had time for anything besides studying. Jason also said that nobody in his program worked. Sam works 40hrs a week in an office, and I've never once seen him study.

He always seems to have a completely open schedule to hang out all the time, which I thought was odd. I asked him why he never is studying and he said he doesn't need to. I was always a good test-taker and never studied a lot in college, but I still feel like medical school is a whole different ball game.

I've spent a lot of time at Sam's house and have never seen a single document suggesting he was in school, textbooks, assignments, nothing. He also has let me use both of his computers and I've never seen anything on his history or anything suggesting anything to do with school.

I don't know about you guys, but when I was in school I had papers all over my house and my computer always had school stuff on it.

A few weeks ago we were at dinner and (I can't remember how this was brought up) but he mentioned that the human ear has 30-something bones in it. I know from high school biology that it has 3 bones, and I said he was wrong. He said something to the effect of "I'm a medical student, how are you going to tell me I'm wrong?"

So I googled it right in front of him and showed him that I was correct, and he seemed mad. I then asked him how many bones were in the human body and he was wrong again. I feel like this is pretty basic stuff a medical student would know, right? Even I know that.

So this week I've been feeling suspicious so I decided to prod. I asked him if I could come sit in on one of his classes, and he said his school "doesn't do that". Fine. I asked if we could meet up on campus for lunch, and he said I couldn't come because you need a student ID to get on campus. Fine.

I asked to see his student ID, and he said he lost it. Then I asked him if he could send me a selfie of him in his hospital uniform and he said he doesn't like the way he looks in a white coat (he sends me other selfies all the time). I feel like at this point he's lying, but some of my friends say I'm being paranoid. If he is lying, how should I prove it?

EDIT: Felt it was worth noting that these past six weeks have been summer vacation, so he hasn't needed to be in class. He said he would get a new student ID when classes start.

This is what people had to say to OP:

[deleted] said:

Honey, you need to walk away. The red flags are waving in the breeze. Loudly. If he will lie about this, there is no limit to what we will lie about. Does he even work where he says he does?

OP responded:

I've been to his office job and met his coworkers. So yes, I know he works 40 hours in an office.

AUrugby said:

I didn’t see your original post, but I’m an actual medical student, and that guy is 100% lying about being in medical school. You have next to no free time outside of class and studying. There is no way the dude is working 40 hours and is a “good test taker” to get through school, it’s just not possible. The level of detail and volume of work is so massive that it requires daily practice.

Sounds like the guy was in school, flunked out, and hasn’t accepted it yet

knightridergirl80 said:

Let me tell you this from the perspective of someone who caught a liar. Once you catch them in a lie this big, the trust is just gone. You’re always going to have it in the back of your mind that he’s lying, even when he’s telling the truth. Lying about being in medical school is a big lie.

And thesippycup said:

Lmao I’m a med student and not a chance in hell that dude was working 40 hours/week and attending.

Five days later, OP shared this update:

So, the response what overwhelming and I'm glad I got confirmation on my suspicions because I felt like I was going crazy. I broke up with him over FaceTime and didn't tell him the real reason, just gave a vague explanation about not being ready to date anybody.

There are other things (in addition to my post) that I'm pretty sure he was also lying about. I didn't bring any of his lies up because honestly I feel slightly scared of a person who would lie about things like that.

He didn't take it very well, and sent me a barrage of texts trying to guilt-trip me and also was borderline harassing me into meeting up with him (apparently he bought me a present and was trying to force me to take it). Overall just really gaslight-y and manipulative.

I eventually just stopped responding and I haven't heard anything in a few days. Hopefully never have to see or speak to him again. Thanks to you all for your responses. Going forward, I'll be a lot more cautious about who I believe.