"My boyfriend serenaded his coworker. AITA?"
We've been together for 2 years and we live together. We had people over for the 4th and he invited some of his friends from work. One of the friends is a girl who is obviously very pretty and everyone loves her because she's a fun person to be around.
We all had a lot to drink and my boyfriend and one of our friends were playing guitar and I was sitting in the pool with some of the other people. My boyfriend starts playing this song, and I wish I remembered what it was, but it was basically about how hot this girl is and how he wants to sleep with her but she's too high maintenance for him.
And he was singing it right to his coworker and replaced whatever the name of the girl in the song's was with her name. He was like leaning over her and she was staring up at him completely loving it.
After it was done my friends were like "holy cow, are you okay with that?" But obviously I wasn't going to do anything right then. After we got out of the pool my boyfriend and the girl and a couple other people got in.
I looked over and she was sitting on his shoulders with her legs wrapped around his neck, and I also saw her doing the thing that you would do with a kid where you hold them on your lap and they push off your legs and you throw them (hope that makes sense).
Honestly the whole night made me uncomfortable and all of my friends were blown away by how they were blatantly flirting in front of me. I brought it up with him yesterday and he said they're just friends and were just having fun and that I'm overreacting. I worry about how they are together at work if that's how they behave in front of me.
Does it sound wildly inappropriate to anyone else or am I overreacting? They don't get together outside of work often and when they do its in a big group so I don't want to ask him to stop seeing her but is there some sort of compromise we could reach? It seemed like he was only a couple of beers away from cheating on me.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
That is wildly inappropriate and hurtful of him. You need to discuss this in depth with him and communicate how you feel. If he does it again despite this I would say it's grounds for ending it.
clairmac (OP)
I did tell him how much it bothers me and he completely dismissed it. I won't know if anything like that happens again because I'm not at work with them.
The petty part of me wants for you to find a hot, muscley dude to link arms with while he tells you how much he'd like to benchpress you, right in front of your bf. It was disrespectful, and I'd suggest a nice long weekend away from your boyfriend to get some space and see where this is going. You don't want to stay with someone who doesn't care about your feeling or your reputation/pride.
Five days later, the OP returned with an update.
After everything I was really pissed all of last week and was sort of planning on breaking up with him but I was taking my time making the decision because, well, break ups suck and it wasn't something I was looking forward to.
I mentioned in the comments of my last post that I own a house that has been sitting vacant since I moved in with my boyfriend and it doesn't have a kitchen right now because I moved out in the middle of renovating it.
I have a friend that owns a kitchen company so I asked him to come out to the house to look at it and draw up plans. He told me he would do it at cost without charging for labor and ever since I told my boyfriend that he's like "what, are you sleeping with him?"
I work for the FD so obviously I work with a lot of (good looking) guys and he's just been so jealous lately, especially last week, trying to tell me who I can and can't talk to while at work. So, all that to say, it was definitely time for us to break up anyway.
I just can't believe that he is giving me such a hard time but thinks him serenading this girl right in front of me was ok. I did look at a text he got that makes me think they were hooking up.
I spent Thursday night out at a hotel with friends for a birthday and came home in the morning. He had a text on his phone that said something like "omg noooo I was sleeping" so I read through their conversation (which was conveniently deleted except for two messages) and he had texted her at 3am to see if she was awake.
Maybe I'm reaching, but every time a guy has texted me that late it's been to hook up. That sealed the deal for me so I just left, it wasn't even worth fighting over because for a whole week now I've been pretty much done with him anyways. He didn't take it that well, which was surprising because it sure seemed like he wanted to break up, but whatever, it's done now.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Usually that jealousy and lack of trust stems from a party knowing that you shouldn't trust them, so they assume that they can't trust you. You can't talk to attractive coworkers but he can serenade a woman in a pool, practically in front of your face...
The details in your post were like icing on the cake. Who wouldn't be thrilled about you getting a new kitchen on the cheap!? Glad his character surfaced strong at the end and you got him out of the picture.
Glad OP had enough self respect to dump the cheating loser.
Not only that. She didn't even waste energy on him by arguing with him or wanting him to fight for their relationship. She just walked out composed and drama-free.
Does he get off on humiliating her or something? Damn.
OP is better than me because I would’ve said something to them that night, since they were so blatantly disrespectful about it. I admire her for her patience and self respect. She bowed out gracefully. I love that for her.