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'AITA for not 'correctly' including my blind SIL in my wedding?'

'AITA for not 'correctly' including my blind SIL in my wedding?'


"AITA for not 'correctly' including my blind SIL in my wedding?"

Me (25F) and my fiance (25M) are engaged and going to get married soon. My SIL is blind and me and y husband are not close with her or any of his family really. He doesn't really contact them and has advised to me to do the same.

It isn't a surprise as he was raised by his aunt n uncle since his parents were both 17 at that time and his grandparents were either no more or leaved out of the country. His parents never tried to make any contact with him anyhow.

They had a daughter after 6 years who they cherished and thought of as their only child. Even though they were invited they didn't show up. But only his sister had shown up,not expected but she was actually very respectful,apologised on his families behalf and didn't make up a fuss about anything .

Also his sister was not blind since birth, she had a terrible car accident due to which she lost her eyesight.

Out of courtesy I still invited them to my wedding. I was so happy about his sister showing up, that I decided I wanted her to be my bridesmaid. Since she is blind and I also send special handwritten notes to my bridesmaids, I made her a tactile invitation card.

I decided that as a activity that all of my bridesmaids would receive a card with a part of a painting in it, which I had gotten made by a professional painter of me and all my bridesmaids together. So when they would arrange and pin up against a softboard would look like a complete painting.

I conducted this activity during my bachelors party. Also there were no expenses left at making my SIL feel like she was just as cherished and a part of the celebration as others. The part of the painting on her card was also tactile around the borders and read in braille "You and Me".After pinning all if them on the board my SIL went ahead to touch it and that's where everything went downhill.

Apparently she expected everyone's card to be tactile to honour her and make her feel included. So when she went to feel them and couldn't feel the tactile marks and realised others had gotten a plain card threw a whole fit about it.

She ruined my bachelors party and posted on her IG that I am a jerk and my wedding should be as empty as possible and that her brother is a fool to marry me.

This broke my heart but my fiance supported me and we went on with the wedding. At first I didn't know why she had a social media account in the first place but still decided to tell my friends , family and bridesmaids to follow her since she requested and now I deeply regret it.

I haven't said anything to her because now I know nothing I do will be able to fix my broken heart and that I count be bothered enough to care for her. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought.

princesssorio writes:

NTA, but give him some space before you bring up the topic again, or he's just going to get angrier.

Would probably help to acknowledge that you know Zoe the cat meant a lot to him, and that you can understand why he would want to use the name again for something even more meaningful.

Then ask him if he can understand why you might be uncomfortable using a name from his previous relationship for your child. If he and his ex named the cat together, he's asking you to let his ex have a say in what you name your (meaning you and him) child.

Once he's calmed down from his initial anger at having his idea rejected, he should be able to understand that.

If he struggles with it, you could also try asking if he really wants Zoe the cat's memory to be overridden by Zoe the baby's, because more people are going to care more about the baby, making it a terrible "memorial" for the cat. When most people say "Zoe", they'll only remember the child.

With baby names, it's super important to follow the two yes/one no rule. This is a whole entire brand new person you two have made, and the next few decades of your life are going to be heavily focused on them.

If either of you is left feeling uncomfortable or resentful or unhappy with the name you choose, it's going to damage the relationship between the three of you, because it's something that will constantly be present in your day to day interactions.

If you're comfortable with it, maybe you could suggest you get a toy cat for your baby and name it Zoe? Keeps the name alive for him in a meaningful way without it having such an impact on you.

pushesdinner writes:

NTA and you are not the only one dealing with similar. Just had our 2nd baby and husband was also thinking of naming them after our recently deceased cat. I know a lot of it was guilt from him because the cat died suddenly from a still uncertain health issue.

Thing is I named that cat after a child I used to watch because they did similar cuddly behavior. I still see this kid at least once a year although they are much older now.

I wasn't comfortable with it because of it's origin and how recently cat died. Agreed to reconsider it if we have a 3rd child of proper gender for it. I get his logic too because I "wasted" some of my favorite bent names on my first dogs and hate feeling like they are locked off.

rednoodles writes:

NTA. So because you’re saying no to one name (it doesn’t even matter that the reason is a very valid reason), he’s complaining that it’s YOUR baby, but doesn’t see that by DEMANDING that you name your child Zoe, he’s not just saying it’s HIS baby?

Double standards. But also, you don’t name a child after any child or pet you have had before, living or dead, that’s just very strange.

Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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