Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
'AITA for telling my SIL that she overshadowed my wedding?'

'AITA for telling my SIL that she overshadowed my wedding?'

ADVERTISING

"AITA for telling my SIL that she overshadowed my wedding?"

Burner account. I(29F) am married to "Nate"(29M) and his sister his "Denise"(29F) we are all childhood friends and I married Nate almost a year ago. Denise, at the time was 7 months pregnant with her first child, her husband is "Wayne"(30M). Not too long after our reception started, Denise went into preterm labor.

Her pregnancy up until that point was not high risk so this was completely out of nowhere and stunned all of us. She understandably had to leave with Wayne to the hospital and most of their side of the family left out of concern.

She insisted we stay and have fun and lord knows Nate and I tried but knowing that she was in unexpected, high risk labor was at the forefront of our minds and we made the difficult decision to end the reception about an hour and a half early and joined up at the hospital.

My nephew "Ben" was born that night and we were all excited but I'll admit Nate and I felt a bit miffed that our wedding day was kind of stolen by this event. We kept this to ourselves though, as this was obviously unplanned and it's cruel to put that on Denise and Wayne.

But, from that point on nobody ever talked about our marriage, just baby Ben. The times I think a relative mentioned our wedding can be counted on one hand.

I get it, new additions to the family are ultimately more important but my wedding day will never just be about my wedding, it'll be about Ben, and whenever he comes up or I see him I feel bitter because I'm reminded of what happened at the wedding.

Yes, I know I'm jealous of a baby. I feel like sh&t for it. Nate was like this too for a while but grew out of it, I'm still working on it.

Ben is turning 1 in 2 weeks and that's all everyone's talking about, not a peep about our anniversary. I already know I'll just be depressed and mopey the whole time so I asked if Nate could politely tell him I would not be there.

He did and Denise was pretty upset and demanded to know why, he refused, so she confronted me via text. She told me that she's picked up on how I seem sad whenever Ben is mentioned and said I'm hurting her that I can't tell her why.

I decided to be honest and tell her that I've been very depressed(not just for this issue, but it's contributing) and that I felt that my wedding was overshadowed and hijacked by her unexpected labor. I did tell her I'm not mad at anyone because it was unplanned, I just need to not be reminded of it on my anniversary.

She did not respond and just blocked me, but Wayne uninvited Nate and told him to keep him and I far away from his family. Nate's confused and I feel like s^%@. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought about this. They had LOTS of different opinions.

cantercircles writes:

Well... yeah, that's just how things go. Your anniversary is an important date to you, but with all due respect it doesn't really mean much to anyone else. You and your husband are the ones who are supposed to be giving each other attention on your anniversary.

You know that Denise didn't do anything to intentionally steal attention away from you. Neither did that baby. Grow up a bit. YTA.

sikafenby writes:

Massively going against the grain, but NTA from me. You are allowed to feel upset. Being upset doesn't make you an asshole. If you were mad at Denise, you would be TA. But you recognize that it was not her fault.

You understand that your emotions are yours to deal with. You tried to keep your emotions from affecting anyone else too much. I think Denise is only lightly TA though for just blocking you.

I would suggest therapy though. Holding onto these emotions for this long is not healthy. I regularly see a therapist, and it helps.

I would also recommend a few weeks after your anniversary, trying to reach out to Denise and Wayne and apologizw and explain that you understand your feelings are irrational and that you mean no ill will and still care about Ben and them, you just are having trouble with regulating your emotions around this.

jrm1102 writes:

YTA - You are unequivocally and most assuredly being an AH. She went into labor 2 month’s early. This was not planned and likely very scary. Sure, your wedding was “over shadowed”, and who cares. It was a one day party, Ben is a whole human being.

I also don’t understand why you think people are supposed to be celebrating your anniversary. That’s for you and your husband to celebrate. Birthdays are something a family celebrates.

Maybe it's different with other families, but I've never known anyone other than the married couple themselves to really celebrate their anniversaries (occasionally their kids, at most).

I think OP needs therapy. This is not normal or healthy.

I had a friend get mad that we (two of her friends) didn't throw her and her husband a first anniversary party. I was flabbergasted. Literally no one cares.

Maybe I've been doing weddings wrong. Are we supposed to continuously talk about other people's weddings after they've happened? Are we supposed to observe other people's wedding anniversaries? YTA

Is OP TA here? What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2025 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content