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Bride asks how to politely demote her bridesmaid; fiance says it's a dealbreaker.

Bride asks how to politely demote her bridesmaid; fiance says it's a dealbreaker.

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We write about wedding drama all the time. Rarely have we seen an argument like this, between bride, bridesmaid, and fiance — over something so dumb.

AITAH for calling my fiancée a bridezilla after she wanted to demote one of her bridesmaids for being too short?

Shot-Telephonebooth

My fiancée is 6’0, let’s get that out of the way. She’s not insecure about it, the opposite actually, she kinda has a superiority complex about it actually.

One of her college friends, Lexi, is 5’1. The rest of her friend group is 5’4 to 5’8, so both Lexi and my fiancée stick out when they take photos together. Her friend group are also her bridesmaids.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to me and told me that she was thinking of demoting Lexi from the wedding party because she “takes attention away” from my fiancée in photos, and wanted my help thinking up an excuse that wouldn’t damage her friendship with Lexi. I asked her if she was serious, and she said that she was.

I tried to gently explain that friendship and happiness are more important than aesthetics, but she wouldn’t listen.

Eventually, I got fed up and told her “Hannah, I love you, but you’re being a bridezilla. Lexi has been your friend for more than a decade, and you want to exclude her for something she not only has no control over, but also something so superficial as the way she looks.'

'You could gently ask her to wear higher heels I guess, but completely cutting her out of the wedding party is heartless. I don’t know how you’re not seeing it. You can have whoever you want in the wedding party, but if you demote Lexi, I’m gonna have to reconsider if you’re really the type of woman I want to marry.”

She accused me of emotional blackmail and left for her mom’s place. Now, she’s giving me the silent treatment, and her mom texted me a scathing rant because I made her cry. AITAH?

Here's how the comments went.

SnowySquirrel93

NTA. She showed you her true colors.

Electronic_Fox_6383

She's flying a big ole red flag on that 6' flag pole, please tell me you're seeing it. NTA

Suckerforcats

NTA. Update us when you call off the wedding. If she would treat a friend this way, imagine how she would treat her own child who was shorter than her or born a little person.

OrneryQueen

NTA, but Hannah sounds shallow and immature. Weddings are 1 day. Marriages and friendships are supposed to be forever.

Hi_Im_Dadbot

NTA. That is some crazy a*& BS. You need to set a hard line that you will not be supporting her with things like this.

Lovelyone123

I'm sorry, how is someone that is 5'1' taken attention away from a woman that is 6'1'? That's like me next to my son

MoonWillow91

NTA. If she’s worried about pics, have them stand in order by size, shortest on end and be particular about everyone’s heal sizes.

She IS being a bridezilla, and if she’ll connive that way against her friend, I don’t see things going great for how she’ll treat you in ways you wouldn’t know about.

ArmChairDetective84

NTA Dude- RUN! She’s self absorbed & she has to go get her mommy involved ? This isn’t going to be a fun marriage for you- she’s going to expect to get her way every time she cries

qtcyclone

NTA, but your shallow fiancée sure is.

avast2006

NTA - her reaction to you speaks volumes as much as her command decision on Lexi. Call her on some obvious bullshit and her response is to round on you, leave, and give you the silent treatment to punish you.

Let her maintain her snit right past the ceremony start time if she’s determined to sustain the tantrum, but if she blows her own wedding over this she’s not going to get a second one.

Regarding the issue of Lexi on its merits: your dear bride has lost her mind, if she honestly believes that a 6’0 (plus heels) bride clad in clouds of shimmering white yardage sufficient to propel a frigate, is going to be eclipsed by a 5’1” bridesmaid.

If anything, the group of them should make a lovely natural cascade. 6’0, 5’8, 5’6”-ish, 5’’4”-ish, 5’1”. It’s like it was planned that way. Hell, some people have to arrange risers to stand on to achieve that effect. She’s not only shallow, she lacks imagination.

Happy wedding!

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