When this woman is upset with her stepsister, she asks Reddit:
I, 26F, have a step sister, 27F, who I have known since middle school. We used to be friends when we were younger but by junior year she flipped the script and has had a issue with me ever since.
She spread rumors about me to my old friend groups, tried to break up my relationship with my high school boyfriend, and told lies to my family members trying to get me in trouble.
Since then I have been blocked on all forms of social media and she does not speak to me at family functions.
Over the years I have tried to extend a olive branch and move past everything a couple times but it always ends with her causing an issue. A few years ago I made it known I was done trying and we have been our separate ways ever since.
Now that I am engaged, I am planning my wedding and in the process of putting together a guest list with my family. I am having a small destination wedding with just close family and friends whom my fiancé and I both have relationships with.
Since it is a destination we have planned 3 days worth of events and activities for everyone who can make it leading up to the wedding. I made it clear to my dad from the start my step sister will not be invited.
He made it seem to me like he understood but he has complained about this decision behind my back to other family members. He also led my stepmom to believe my step sister was still invited and I had to break the news when they were looking up accommodations one night at dinner.
A month later I found out through other family members that my step sister is in fact still going to the destination the week of the wedding for a family vacation.
AITAH for telling my dad this feels deceitful and he is not respecting my boundaries? I tried to confront him after I found out but he became super defensive and said I was grasping at straws trying to pick a fight.
He hung up on me and has not reached out since. It has officially been a month without hearing from him. AITA?
NTA. He lied. Now you have a choice. You either officially uninvite them all, OR you communicate to them in writing that if she chooses to vacation with them and they choose to attend your wedding celebrations (including the days leading up to), that she is absolutely NOT welcome to participate in ANY of the planned events.
And that if she shows her face at any event they will all be excluded immediately. Tell them you’ll have security in place for this reason. They can try and F around but show them you’re not up for playing.
NTA. Yes, your stepsister has a right to vacation anywhere she wants at any time. But it was definitely deceitful of your dad to lie to his wife and her daughter about the plans. From his standpoint I can understand him trying to appease both his wife and his daughter, but he went about it wrong.
You can’t stop her from going on holiday to the place where you’re getting married. You can, however, choose not to spend any time with her while you’re there, and make that clear to your stepdad- if he tries to include her in pre-wedding or wedding plans you will be asking them both to leave. NTA.