'AITA for calling the police on my fiancé? She was out all night and didn't call.'
When a man asked for advice on Reddit, the responses came flooding in... but they weren't what he expected. Take the deep dive and decide who the a-hole is for yourself:
"AITA (Am I the A-hole) for calling the police on my fiance?"
Rnevermore writes:
Last night my (35M) Fiance (38F) left in the evening to give a friend's son a ride back to his home. She implied she'd be home before 9. She left at around 7:45.
10:15 rolled around and she still wasn't home. I texted and she apologized to me, saying that her friend's son was actually in the next town over (maybe 30 minutes away) and she was coming home now.
11:45 rolled around and she still hadn't come home, so I called her to no answer. Texted her to no response. I was getting very upset.
12.30 rolled around and still no response and no answer to my phone calls. I was extremely angry.
1:30 rolled around and my anger had completely transformed into worry. Not answering my calls and texts not read.
Around 1:45 I called the police.
I have always heard that the first 24 hours of someone being missing is the most important, so I didn't want to delay. I asked them to let me know if there had been any traffic accidents involving her car, and the operator told me that they would put out the word and send some cops to check along the route she would travel.
I called all the hospitals in the area to check if she has been checked in and I waited outside watching the road for her car for three hours, partially because I didn't want the kids to hear me on the phone with hospitals, and secondly because I was sick with worry.
At 7:00am she came home. She apologized for being out and said she had no excuse. She was driving home and felt tired like she was falling asleep at the wheel, so she pulled over to the side of the road to sleep. When she did that, she found that her brand new phone had stopped working.
She says she napped anyway because it was the responsible thing to do, and then came home at 7am to bring the kids to school and get to work on time. I immediately called the police and told them that she had come home safely and gave them the case number and told them to stop searching, which they did.
My fiance brought the kids to school and left for work. I set out to start cleaning (cleaning de-stresses me sometimes), and I got a call from a policeman asking where she worked.
I told him, and asked why, and I was informed that it was their policy to check on the person's wellness after a missing person is found. I asked them to not go by her work but to give her a call instead. He said he couldn't promise.
My fiance is relatively new to her job. A police officer showed up and asked to speak with her. She is now enraged at me for calling the police and 'sending a cop to her work' and making her look bad. She is saying I overreacted and that she wasn't missing and that I was punishing her for doing the responsible thing and not driving while drowsy.
She is saying that she is never going to leave the house again except for work, because she is afraid I'm going to call the cops on her again. So did I overreact? Should I have waited two days like she suggests?
Did OP overreact by calling the cops? ...Or is there something very fishy going on with her story?
Reddit had a LOT to say to this guy.
Kezibythelake asks:
NTA (not the a-hole)...but you know she's lying, right?
And OP responds:
I do suspect that the story isn't truthful, but she doesn't really have a history of lying to me, so I've been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.
MinerReddit says:
NTA - I don't believe her story one bit. Driving a kid home and disappearing for the entire night is a massive red flag. How does she not even know where he lives when she started the drive? How old is this kid? Pulling over and sleeping on the side of a road for a 30-minute drive is nuts. She is now turning this around to say she is the victim of your actions.
ValleySparkles comments:
The fishiest part is that without a working phone (no alarm), she somehow woke up and got home just in time to get the kids to school on time.
And OP explains:
I did ask her about why her brand new phone stopped working, and she eventually confessed she dropped it in a puddle. But when she got home it seemed to be working.
EDIT: I think this would be more believable if it had rained in the last few weeks.
EDIT2: My fiance has informed me that she was embarrassed, but the truth is that she dropped it in the toilet, not a puddle.
Due-External8607 isn't having it:
But even if that phone was dropped in a toilet... It was working when she got home..... It is policy for them to check in person because they have to see that the person is alive and well, because anyone could make a phone call and say it. But dude. Thirty minutes away, stops to sleep on the side?
If you reported her missing her car would also be noted. If she was on the side sleeping somewhere, wouldn't they have seen the car and well woken her up? Her story reeks. Don't fall for it dude. She's still only a fiance. Don't make her a wife before this is cleared up with legitimate reasons. Because none of hers seem right.
OP writes:
I don't believe her story, but I don't know why she would lie. We have a somewhat open relationship that only demands that she talk to me about any potential partners first. That's why this is so confusing. If she was interested in someone, she need only talk to me about it. Although exes are off limits.
RogueDIL had another theory:
Drugs. She was connecting with her plug and got high.
punkr0x agrees:
If you're cheating and trying to hide it, you don't say, 'I'll be home in 30 minutes,' and then just stop answering your phone and stay out all night. That's asking to be caught. If you're on drugs, then you start doing some dumb sh*t.
herrored says:
There's likely no kid. OP clarified in a comment that she allegedly went and picked up the kid from some other location to drop him off at the friends house. An extra layer to this ridiculous story. I'm honestly starting to doubt the post itself.