Woman cancels apartment signing over boyfriend's lavish car purchase. AITA?
"AITA for cancelling our apartment signing after I found out that my bf bought an expensive car?"
Sad-Hold7262
My bf(31M) and I(28F) have been together for just over 2 years. We have been living with roommates and been looking to move in for a while. It’s expensive and I have a dog so it’s been difficult finding a landlord that would be ok with a dog.
My friend has been moving out and she has a dog to and is willing to sublet for us. The landlord said they are ok with signing us if we want to stay after the 8 month sublet.
It’s a fairly good price near work so I’m happy with it. We went through the credit check and we are about to sign it but recently I discovered that my bf bought another car.
He already has a “daily driver” but wants a “weekend car” which I personally find ridiculous why anyone needs 2 cars. He has a Honda Accord that is fine and he has never complained about problems with it. But he recently said he bought another car.
He isn’t the best with money. He really likes to spend till the last dollar and doesn’t have any savings. I’ve had to bail him out twice on rent, we both pay around $1100 plus utilities and he makes around 70k a year so he should have savings but he doesn’t. He paid me back but it was months later than we agreed on.
So I wasn’t really happy that he did that but I didn’t realize he bought such an expensive car. He didn’t show it to me until Sat when he picked me up in a Corvette. I don’t know what model it is but I asked him how much it was and he said it wasn’t my business and I was pissed off he bought a clearly expensive car.
He admitted later because I refused to let it go it was 42k and he had traded in the Honda. Even then his payments are almost $800 a month. I was so mad he did that especially because he asked me to cover part of his share of the apartment security deposit a week before he bought the car.
I called my friend and apologized and told her I can’t sign the lease and she said she was ok with it. I hadn’t paid the deposit yet thankfully and my roommate is ok with me staying so I’m good.
But my bf lease is ending and the landlord wants him out so he is mad at me cancelling us moving in together because now he still needs to move and will probably be paying more than if we moved in together.
He yelled at me for butting in on his business saying it’s not my business what he buys. I think that’s fair but he also doesn’t have any money and bought an expensive car so if anything goes wrong I have to pay his share of rent.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Sarissa32
NTA. He hasn't paid you back for the times you've had to cover his rent but it's not your business that he buys himself a Corvette?!? WHY keep dating this man? You clearly can't trust him.
The OP responded here:
Sad-Hold7262
He paid me back but he said he would pay me as soon as payday comes around and he didn’t pay me back fully until months after I lent him the money. We are compatible if not for the finances and I guess I’m hoping he will change on that so we can still be together. I know it’s not likely but I guess I don’t want to breakup because of money. But I’m not willing to move in until he changes.
mdthomas
?He admitted later because I refused to let it go it was 42k and he had traded in the Honda. Even then his payments are almost $800 a month. I was so mad he did that especially because he asked me to cover part of his share of the apartment security deposit a week before he bought the car."
"He isn’t the best with money. He really likes to spend till the last dollar and doesn’t have any savings. I’ve had to bail him out twice on rent. He paid me back but it was months later than we agreed on."
You've got your answer. This guy is a huge financial liability. Stay with him if you want, but know what you are getting into. NTA.
etds3
You can’t combine finances or obligations in any way with this man. He has already proven that he will make irresponsible decisions and dump them on you. You can’t ever move in with him without becoming his ATM. Marriage or kids are completely off the table if you want to remain financially solvent. Is this really what you want, OP?
icarusancalion
Money is something that breaks up relationships. It's clear the two of you are incompatible in your attitudes towards money: you think he should save, he thinks money is for spending.
He's blurry about the lines between your money and his money (or he wouldn't have asked you to cover for him while not mentioning he was buying an expensive car.) It's a good call to not move in with him. NTA.
Major_Barnacle_2212
You just dodged a bullet. Good for you for ensuring you aren’t forced to supplement his lifestyle just because he’s spends his money down to the last drop. I’ve been there, and eventually wrote off the debt my boyfriend left me in as a lesson learned in red flags. You saw the signs and got out! NTA.
NanaLeonie
NTA. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. Just under $800 car payment, who knows how much for insurance and maintenance and he only earns $70K. Is that net or gross. He couldn’t afford the rent on that apartment. You did the right thing to walk away from being trapped in an apartment rental with him.