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'AITA for insisting my GF redecorate her office? It's like she went nuts at a garage sale.'

'AITA for insisting my GF redecorate her office? It's like she went nuts at a garage sale.'


A couple could have no problems for years, but cohabitation always brings up new issues. In a viral story from Reddit, a man and woman with drastically different takes on interior design are having a colorful argument (sorry). He writes:

"AITA for insisting my GF redecorate her office/OUR spare bedroom?"

My gf and I moved in together about 8 mos ago. When we first started dating she used to joke that my place looked like corporate housing but I just like more industrial style interiors. I think it looks nice.

My gf's place always looked like she got her furniture off the side of the road, none of it matched, the colors were loud, etc.

Since moving in together we have had to compromise on a lot around the house, like she wanted to buy painted dishes (they were blue with big ugly red/orange flowers just splattered on them) and we compromised on a nice white set with small flower trim.

Or the new couch. She wanted a purple and orange one but we got a nice brown leather one instead since it will match more. There are more examples of her picking out garish stuff but you get the idea.

She asked about 3 weeks ago if she could decorate her office/our spare bedroom since I never go in there and she does work outta there/spends a lot of time in there. I thought she meant buy a few knickknacks or maybe a new comforter/lamp something.

Today when I got home I discovered she went to her storage unit and dragged half her bedroom back to our place. There are paisley curtains and iron outdoor tables and weird lamps and none of it matches.

It looks like a drunk hippie threw up a garage sale. I told her this was not what I had in mind and, more importantly, our guests will have to sleep in there. What would they think? That we ran out of money and went nuts at a flea market?

I asked her to tone it down and maybe make it more monochromatic like the rest of the house. I said this gently and even suggested that we go online and find things we BOTH like, but shes upset with me and has barely spoken to me since I got home. AITA?

The commenters had a lot to say, and believe it or not they had very little concern with the actual style differences.

ea77271 writes:

YTA. You want everything to be your aesthetic and for her to entirely give up her own tastes. The concessions you call compromises weigh very heavily towards your own preferences.

DiscoJuneBug writes:

Yes. YTA. What makes you think your design choices are superior to hers?! Yours sound boring to me. Maybe I’m loud and garish… stop being so judgmental.

earth-to-aliens writes:

YTA. Repeatedly insulting her taste so heartlessly cements that. You sound like you don’t like anything fun or colorful, including your girlfriend.

consectariana wrote:

YTA. All of your “compromises” about dishes and the couch were you getting exactly what you wanted. Your girlfriend wants a space that reflects HER taste.

And if your guests don’t like it, their opinions don’t matter since it’s not their home. But if you’re not careful, your girlfriend will decide that it’s not her home, either, and leave you.

schoolsout4evah writes:

Oof. You sure have a lot of insecurities about appearing 'the right kind' of middle class, don't you? YTA.

PJBear76 writes:

YTA - the compromises seem to be heavily weighted in your direction (boring); and the gf seems to be just a guest. Does she actually live there or is just occasionally visiting?

If living there, why'd she have to ask permission to decorate HER office? She's not allowed to have anything of her own in the place? Do you also tell her how to dress?

illdecidetomorrow writes:

YTA. You didn’t ask her these questions when she asked if she could decorate the office. She spends more time in there and honestly, her decor sounds original and better than corporate style,

Sufficient-Ad6 writes:

Do you have anything in common with this woman? You DID know her before you moved in together, yes? Went to her home, registered her maximalism as part of her personality? Probably in her wardrobe too?

If you don't like her bold tastes (and presumably personality), why are you with her? If you do like it, why are you trying to change her? IT'S HER HOME TOO

Someone could get rich writing a book combining interior design tips with couples therapy. You're welcome.

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