When this dinner party host is annoyed with one of her guests, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for refusing to accommodate a last minute vegan guest?"
I am hosting a dinner party for my online friends this Saturday. We met because of mutual love of a book series and then formed our own group of 8 people, discussing and sharing things in a group chat.
We’ve known each other for almost a year and all of us have all met every person of the 8 of the group, but not all 8 at the same time because everyone’s work schedule just didn’t work out. This Saturday would be the first time we 8 can be together.
I offered to host because my place is the largest. Three asked to bring their SO and I said OK. I asked for dietary restrictions and preferences and finished my shopping a couple days ago.
I planned to make a chicken dish from our book, vegetable soup, and cheesy bread. Everyone was happy with the menu and offered to bring dessert, fruits and drinks.
Just last night one friend Gary asked if he could bring his new girlfriend who’s a fellow fan of the book. Everyone said OK. Gary said his girlfriend is vegan and requested I make something extra for her.
I said the only vegan thing I could think of making on the fly was something simple like rice or baked potatoes or roasted vegetables. I don’t live near a grocery store and buying groceries take planning and I already went for the week.
Gary asked if I could make a vegan dish from the book so his girlfriend would feel included. I told him that would be hard to do and he and his girlfriend were free to bring in their own food.
Gary recently told us his girlfriend won’t be joining and so he will not as well. My other friend Chloe offered to make a small vegan dish from the book and bring it over but Gary just said he would take a rain check. So now it would just be 7 of us without Gary.
Nobody in the group said anything but I could not help but feel guilty. I could have told Gary I would look into it without rejecting his request outright and later on DM others asking for help or something. It was such a bummer not having the entire group together. AITA?
Let' see what readers thought.
fallingintopolkadots writes:
NTA. It was unreasonable to think you'd have all of the supplies to create this whole vegan dish for one person (that you don't even know, that is a late edition) when you have already painstakingly prepared a particular meal and they all knew about it.
You offered what you could do to try to accommodate her at least partially (baked potato, veggies), your friend Chloe offered to make a dish, you told them that they could bring a dish (or a main dish if they wanted to take you up on the sides offer), but it still wasn't good enough for them.
You are not a restaurant and she is a late edition who you don't even know. You definitely don't need to, nor should you be expected to, bend over backwards to make her a meal you've never made before -- she probably would have thrown a tantrum if it wasn't up to her standards, too.
coastalmom writes:
NTA. Vegetable soup is quite possibly vegan as long as you don't use a meat stock. I'm pescatarian but also somewhat picky so if it were me I would have brought a salad to share and packed some protein bars in my purse for the ride home. I don't get all these posts with people expecting to be catered to.
You're not gonna starve by missing one meal, and you told them you won't be offended if they bring their own.
zct808 writes:
I have nothing against vegans. But they have to accept that THEY are the unusual ones in mainstream society. Your friend blindsided you with a last minute request and then expected you to buy special ingredients and make a special recipe just for one guest.
You are not a hotel, restaurant, chef. Maybe you could have accommodated if he had given reasonable notice. But to make a last minute demand like this and then act or sighted is such a dick move. You’re NTA.