Woman secretly invites sister's ex and his GF to engagement party. AITA?
"AITA for not telling my sister I invited her ex-husband and his gf to my engagement party?"
For starters, my sister’s ex-husband, Alex, was our family friend before anything, I always looked up to him and saw him as an older brother, throughout his messy divorce with my sister I was the middle ground until they settled it down and the rollercoaster ended.
Now, my sister, Jessie, can’t stand him still, especially since he started dating his new girlfriend and officially introduced her to their three children. They married at eighteen due to her getting pregnant and our parents and his insisting it’s the best choice, seven years later they’ve reached cracking point.
Anyways, when I started sending out invitations to my engagement party, it felt wrong not to send him one, as he is family and has addressed to me before how much he doesn’t wanna be excluded or left out from matters like these.
My family agreed with me on that. We all knew my sister would overreact and be dramatic about it all, and at that point I was just gonna send him an invite, not sure if he’ll come or not. But shortly after, Alex responds telling me he’ll make it, then he asked me if it’d be okay for him to bring a plus one.
When I asked my fiancé what he thought about this, he said he doesn’t see a reason I should tell him no, as everyone has a plus one invitation and Jessie herself was gonna bring a date with her (this guy she’s been casually talking to for the past three months)
I come from a big southern family that knows no such thing as boundaries, they really wanted to meet Alex’s girlfriend, especially my parents cause their grandkids are gonna be around her, so my mother took matters into her own hand and called him telling him he should bring a plus one.
She put me in an uncomfortable position cause now I really didn’t know what to tell Jessie. Alex coming sounded bad enough, bringing his girlfriend too? Yeah, that would make her turn into a dragon who has the ability of breathing fire that’d burn me and everyone around us down.
I told my mother she was in charge of breaking it to Jessie since she’s the one who went ahead and told Alex he can bring his gf. Of course, not wanting to handle her wrath either, my mother brushed it off and didn’t mention it to her.
Fast forward to the engagement party, when Jessie saw Alex and his girlfriend, she looked at me as if she wanted to murder me. Then she pulled me aside, took us to the bathroom, where she started yelling at me for twenty minutes straight, before crying and saying she couldn’t believe I would do this to her.
I calmed her down the best I could, apologized a numerous number of times, but said that he’s the father of his children and family as it is, making him deserving of an invitation to an event like that.
After that whole night my friends and Jessie’s told me I was so wrong for not telling her about inviting Alex and his girlfriend, they thought it was a low asshole move, but I really can’t see why as he is family but God knows my sister is still mad at me for it. Do you think AITA?
The OP deleted their post several hours later, but not before Reddit had time to give them a piece of their collective mind.
I don’t think that it’s wrong he was invited considering they have children together. He’s going to be included in events and holidays. But bringing the gf was a bad idea….
yta but softly because I see where you were coming from. someone should’ve told your sister they were coming, this probably feels like betrayal to her
I’m gonna go with Nta, you could have told her, but if he was a family friend before they married and you still know him, it’s your engagement party and you have every right to invite whoever you want.
I do still think you should have told her, but she also wasn’t entitled to know the guest list of your engagement party.
Don't be surprised when your sister goes LC/NC with you. You obviously have no respect for her, do you even like her???? You don't even have the decency to give her a heads up that's he's going or bringing his GF. You are AWFUL.
Your ex-BIL is family but clearly you don't think your sister is. Well done on hurting and humiliating your sister. YTA for inviting him, for letting your mother letting him bring a plus one, and a double AH for not letting your sister know. FRIENDS would do this, let alone family. You deserved to be yelled at.
Your sister is unlikely to forget this. Congratulations on damaging your relationship with your sister.
If you want some icing on that engagement cake, one reader called out that the OP seems to have a habit of deleting their tawdry posts.
If you really want to add to it, she probably dislikes her fiancé too, as she posted looking for advice on the guy she was talking to asking for n00des a few days ago. You can still see her comments but she deleted the post.