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Man raises ex's kids, learns they've been covering her affairs, cuts them off. AITA?

Man raises ex's kids, learns they've been covering her affairs, cuts them off. AITA?


"AITA for cutting off my ex-wife’s kids I raised for 9 years when I found out they had been lying to me?"

I 41m was married to my ex wife 38f for 2 years before we split up. She has 5 kids that I had been helping her raise for almost 9 years as we had an on and off relationship before we got married.

The kids are 22f, 19m, 17m, 11m, and 9f. I have always had a great relationship with all the kids and treated them like my own. Their dads weren’t really in the picture and I was the man that stepped up to be there for them all.

My ex and I would still spend time together and see each other after our initial split as we were trying to work things out. During this time she would date other men and have them in the home with the kids.

I worked out of state and would talk to her and the kids regularly like a husband and father would and would spend my days off with them all.

Well the lying came into play when I found out on accident that the dad of 3 of the kids had gotten out of jail and was spending time with my wife and kids behind my back because no one wanted me to find out because he told them not to tell me.

I was then informed that they had been covering for their mom’s indiscretions the whole time I've known them. I would come down from work on my time off and the kids would all hide whatever man their mom was seeing and tell the little ones to not say anything to me.

If I had found out what they were doing I would have stopped paying all the bills and taking care of all of them. When I was told all of these things I realized that I was just an atm and them and their mom never really cared about me, so I cut all contact with the entire family.

I decided my feelings and my mental health was more important that constantly caring for ppl that don’t care about me or how I felt about what was being done to me. So AITA?

Here's how everyone weighed in in the comments.


Your ex is a terrible mother


NTA at all. You were a stand up guy to them and they treated you poorly, end of story. Good luck to you.


This entire story front to back is a red flag. NTA.


Even the kids betrayed you. Damne son, that's rough. I'm sorry you went through that.


NTA. Dating a single mom is fine. Dating a single mom with 5 kids from different fathers, at least one of which is in jail, might not be the best idea.


NTA. I'm sorry for the little ones, but you needed to get away from it all for your own sanity. Go nc forever. Stay strong OP


Nta. Congrats for ending the doormat phase. It's sad that she is setting such a disgusting example for her kids. Her multiple boyfriends can pay their bills.

Ammara asked if any of the kids have tried reaching out. OP responded:

The oldest did. I didn’t go to her baby gender reveal party and she was upset because she said I would be the last person that she would have thought about not showing up.

And my MIL messeged me to ask for money for heaters and cold weather clothes because the 2 little ones were staying with her. She forgot that she pull the same thing the year before and I sent money that time

The comments are unanimous — but do you feel sympathy for the kids?

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