Woman doesn't tell bf's family she knows Spanish; learns what they think of her.
AITA for not saying i understand spanish to my boyfriend and his family
I (26) f live with my bf (29) m. I am Caucasian and was adopted into a Spanish household when I was a baby. I grew up speaking fluent spanish but learned English through school as of now I speak more so in English than Spanish.
I met my bf (lets call him Stan) 6 years ago in college. He was raised in a more traditional Spanish household than me. Stan and I got engaged at the end of last year and I have only met his parents once. Stan, on the other hand, refuses to meet my adoptive parents, sadly.
A few days ago Stan asked me to come to see his parents as they wanted to talk to me. As we enter the house, we say our 'hello's' to everyone and sat down.
Stan's parents told me they wanted me to change my faith to something I don't want to repeat for us to get married and have their blessing. Stan agreed with his parents as I sat there shocked. Stan went to go get a glass of water when his parents started talking in Spanish.
'Shes not right for our son'
'We can't give out our blessing'
'She wont even be able to do anything right'
Stan comes back in the room and I stood up and said I was going to leave to think things over. I grabbed my car keys and left crying. I went home to pack some of my things and to get my dog. As of now, I have been at my mother's house since and haven't talked to Stan since that day. So AITA?
This initial post was too vague for readers, but they were very interested. So, the OP came back to fill in some of the details.
I met with Stan but my parents came with to support me. My parents and I greeted him in Spanish (his face dropped) I told him i no longer want to be together and want him out my house within 2 weeks (my parents own the house and let me live there).
He begged me to stay with him and said he'd make everything change and his parents apologize to me. I gave him the ring and left with him crying.
Here is what people had to say:
NTA. So many red flags. He refuses to meet your family. He doesn't warn you that he wants you to convert religions. He doesn't know you speak Spanish. His parents speak badly of you in another language in front of you. Run, pronto.
Since OP owns the house, all she has to do is put his stuff in a box to the left.
This is sh*tty op but honestly I'm so glad you kept it to yourself. Seriously you found out the whole ass truth and that's actually a blessing even if it is painful to face. Good for you. You have seriously been spared.
In the future, hold that card to your advantage. Keep that as your secret weapon!!!! It saved you from a tremendously terrible situation. Good for you OP. Super NTA!!!!! I'm impressed!!!! What a plot twist!!!!
How do you date someone for 6 years while refusing to ever meet their family? Especially since said family apparently live close by since OP went to stay with their mum. And double especially since he has apparently been living (presumably rent free) in a house owned by OP's parents.
YTA. I would never marry a man that's straight up refused to meet my family. Straight up weird.
NTA - They shouldn't have been saying rude things about you, and they definitely shouldn't have done so in the same room as you. You have done nothing wrong.
But I also want to say it's a MAJOR RED FLAG that he doesn't want to meet your parents unless there's a specific reason why (ex. they are abusive toward you and he doesn't want to be around them because of it ).
I also believe that it is a red flag that he asked you to sit down with his parents without giving you a headsup that they were going to ask you to convert to their religion. You also said that he agrees with them. Has he at any point had a conversation with you that he would want you to convert to his faith in order to have a future with him?
So you're with a guy for 6 years who doesn't want to meet your parents and apparently know so little about you that he dosen't have a clue that you speak spanish? Girl you don't have a friend to tell you're in a abusive relationship?