'AITA for refusing to wear my engagement ring until my fiancé acknowledges our child?'
"AITA for refusing to wear my engagement ring until me and my newborn child are publicly acknowledged?"
Fun_Mixture4418
Hello! For background, my(26F) partner(27M) and I have a good relationship and get along well. Recently, he proposed to me and I said yes. Our newborn baby girl was born at the end of June, just a week after said engagement.
This morning, I noticed that he posted a picture of his second child from a previous relationship on Facebook. This is normal and nothing of concern, obviously.
However, it occurred to me that he has not acknowledged his new child or engagement online whatsoever. I’ve acknowledged both my engagement and new baby on Facebook which received much praise and congratulations.
I was not expecting him to post in regards to our engagement because he’s a rather private person, but it definitely hurt my feelings to see that he continuously acknowledges and posts pictures of his other children (he has 2 from 2 previous relationships) but has not done the same for our child.
I pointed this out and he told me that it was because he was a private person, but he’s definitely posted about previous people he’s been with, including their shared children.
I have not been acknowledged publicly at all in our relationship, and only immediate family members and close friends know about me.
And before anyone says it, I am not so much upset about me/our engagement not being posted about because I’ve never questioned where I stand with him and I’ve never felt a need to compete or seek public validation.
I feel more disappointed that our child, the child given to him by the only woman he’s asked for her hand in marriage, didn’t make the cut for being post-worthy. Because of this, I’ve taken off my ring and told him that if our child is a secret, so is our engagement.
He argued that it’s not the same thing and I told him a ring is public and symbolic acknowledgment of our relationship, and that even without it, we are still engaged just like we still have a baby even if he refuses to tell the world about her the way you he does with his other children.
I told him if he doesn’t have to acknowledge me as his fiancé or his newborn child, I don’t have to wear a ring that lets the world know I’m in a committed relationship, for my privacy.
I don’t like the idea of being a secret fiancé or having my child be a secret from his friends and family. I strongly believes my child deserves the same adoration and acknowledgment as any of our other children. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
INFO: you are his third baby mama. Has it occurred to you that you taking off your ring and not letting the world know you're in a committed relationship might not mean that much to him?
It kinda sounds to me he’s looking for number 4.
Or he hasn't cut ties with number 2, maybe...
If you’re his secret fiancée, is it possible that you’re not the only woman currently in his life?
ESH. He needs to get a vasectomy and you need to get off of social media.