My husband and my marriage is not going well. I am very close to divorce and I’ve talked to him about it. I told him I wanted some effort. I wanted flowers, chocolate, a nicely written note. Something that showed he wanted to romance me. He finally took it seriously and agreed.
When I came home from a 12 hour shift yesterday, he had laid a trail of rose petals in our house. It was so beautiful. The trail ended at the kitchen sink where he had piled a bunch of dirty dishes, pots, and pans to clean.
He said he got the idea from TikTok. I screamed at him to get out of my house. He left after arguing a bit. I cried. Some of my friends said I was right but others say he was just being playful. AITAH?
NTA. I'm old (and a widow). I had a very long and loving relationship with my husband. He had a fantastic sense of humor and often did very silly things to get a laugh out of me.
Our marriage was solid because he would NEVER have let me come home from a 12-hour shift to rose petals leading to a dirty sink of dishes. He would have had rose petals leading to a sparkling kitchen, dinner ready, and with him dressed in a French maid outfit (probably with his butt hanging out). God, I miss that man.
ANYWAY, what your husband did, especially knowing how much you were really needing some romance, was incredibly cruel and tone deaf. I don't think this one is a keeper, OP.
Very well said. And for the record, your husband and relationship sound like they were truly incredible. I hope to have that someday with all my heart.
The fact that he put effort into this prank is particularly galling. If he’d heard you and cared but wanted a humorous twist, he could’ve put that effort into having the rose petals lead to a clean kitchen, rather than scrolling TikTok. That might have been cute and funny.
My husband came back home last night. I had cooled off and then he ruined it by saying I was overreacting, that it was funny, and he wanted to make me laugh. I told him I was going to file for divorce because it was the last straw. He then started crying and begging me not to. He begged me to give him a second chance.
I said he already got a second chance and he squandered it by reminding me that I do all the daily chores in this house. This was why our marriage was rocky. I work in the medical field while he is a blue collar worker. Both of our jobs require long hours. But if I mess up, people die.
He once said that I went through all that schooling just to get covered in blood and shit. He took it back after but he wanted to make me feel low. He started doing that a bit after Covid started. I do the cooking and cleaning. I do the laundry, the sweeping, the dentist appointments. All he does is create more work for me.
He wanted me to pack him lunch because his friends’ wives do. His friends’ wives are either SAHMs or they have part time jobs. I do not have the time or energy to do that. He said he mows the lawn. Well guess what. It’s winter and I had to shovel the driveway because I had work in the morning and he had the day off.
I make more money. I bought our house at a low rate during Covid because his credit was too low. I had to save the money for a down payment. I pay our mortgage. What did he contribute to my life? If I didn’t have him in my life, I would have clean floors all the time and more money. At least he could contribute love.
He said he loved me. But he doesn’t do anything to prove it. So I asked him for flowers OR chocolate OR a nice card. Literally anything to show some love. But instead he dropped flower petals to a sink full of dirty dishes, pots, and pans. It’s not even original. I’m done. I’m going to file for divorce.
Her single life is going to be fantastic. She owns her own house, will have significantly less work without him around and won't have to waste her income on him. He's going to regret this so much and I hope there's another update.
I wanted to give her a high five. We need more of that decisiveness with garbage partners around here.
Honestly, he was probably banking on her continuing to boil in the pot like so many others on this sub. That's why he had a meltdown when he realized she was serious. He couldn't fathom she would actually want to leave him. We love to see it.
"he ruined it by saying I was overreacting, that it was funny, and he wanted to make me laugh"
He started on the bottom and continued to dig.
I'm just annoyed at how profoundly unfunny the husband was. I mean, basic comedy principles: timing, and knowing your audience. CAN that joke work? Sure, absolutely! Did it have any hope of working in this context? No, not at all. This is basic.
HE HAD IT COMIN' HE HAD IT COMIN' HE ONLY HAD HIMSELF TO BLAME IF YOU'D HAVE BEEN THERE IF YOU'D HAVE SEEN IT I BETCHA YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME!