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'AITA for wanting to tell my friend that his girlfriend is pregnant?'

'AITA for wanting to tell my friend that his girlfriend is pregnant?'

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On Reddit's Am I the A**hole, a guy wants to look out for his best friend without making a huge mess. Unfortunately, it seems a mess is highly inevitable. He writes:

'AITA for wanting to tell my friend that his girlfriend is pregnant?'

So one of my best friends, Mark, has been dating Jennifer for about a year and a half and they're pretty awesome together. My wife and I would go on double dates with them probably once every other month and we always had a good time and they seemed to really care for each other.

Mark ended up getting his dream job opportunity, but it's on the east coast of the US, we're on west coast. He asked Jennifer if she would move with him, and after a lot of thought she said said no. Didn't want to leave her family, her life, things like that. So they broke up sadly, and Mark moved.

Well Jennifer and my wife still chat and turns out she is pregnant with Mark's kid, she swears by that. I asked her if she told Mark yet and she said she isn't going to tell him. She doesn't want to mess up his life or make him move back, etc.

I said 'look, if you don't tell Mark than I will.' I feel like he has a right to know that he is going to be a father. Jennifer got pretty upset by this, my wife didn't really react this, and now I'm all confused. Did I cross a line? Is that information that I have no right to share? AITA?

Here's how the jury deliberated in the comments section.

First, OP added:

Doesn't seem like she is telling everyone as of right now but eventually she will be. She wants to have the kid

ChiriOne suggests the classic line:

NTA - Jennifer is telling everyone BUT Mark that she’s pregnant and that is his? That’s a bizarre choice. This is a situation that “You have X amount of time to tell him or I will” was made for.

OP responds:

Exactly it’s not “information that you have no right to share” at this point it’s information she has no right to withhold.

Alyom says:

Yep. And if she wanted it to be a secret, she should've kept it a secret.

As a rule, you can't go telling people things first, then say it's a secret, and demand they don't tell anyone

Sandgravie points out:

Nta. That is also his child. Unless he is an abusive, hateful person and she is not telling him to keep them safe, he deserves to know. Also, the kid deserves to know who their dad is.

Steezycap lays it on thick:

NTA. Anyone saying the father has no right to know is insane and needs help.

Jurassicparkfood says:

NTA - unless he's abusive, the father has a right to know. It's immoral to do otherwise. She should tell him, but if she won't, you should

OP clarifies:

I probably was a little hasty about it, I'll admit. We did the whole congratulations, baby names, all the stuff you talk about when someone tells you they're pregnant. She seemed pretty calm about the whole thing, which kind of put me off guard considering the situation. And then we started talking Mark and then it led me saying what I said.

And strangledinmoonlight points out one more explanation:

She may be waiting until after the first trimester to tell him.

If she tells him early and he moves back and sacrifices the new job etc? and she loses the fetus (which is really common) it would be very messy.

OP leaves it at that:

That is definitely a viable option. I'll keep that in mind

Great work everyone, we've made a lot of progress here today.

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