Friend tells groom just before his wedding that his bride has another fiancé. AITA?
"AITAH because I told my friend, two weeks before his wedding, that his fiancee cheated on him for three years?"
CatnipUwU
I feel frustrated, but here's the story: I had a friend who dated a girl for and decided to propose to her. She accepted, and they went on to make all the necessary preparations for their wedding. Personally, I never liked her, but I accepted their relationship because he was happy.
About three years ago, during a vacation, I saw her with another man. When I asked my friend, he claimed she was on vacation with her parents in another country.
However, I discovered evidence two weeks before their wedding that she had been cheating on him for three years with the same man from the vacation trip. I felt compelled to tell my friend to prevent him from starting a marriage based on lies.
He confronted her, and after much denial, she finally admitted to her infidelity and revealed plans to marry the other man. The wedding was called off, and she ended up marrying the other guy. Strangely, my friend still loves her and blames me for supposedly ruining his happiness.
Now, she's telling him she'll divorce her current husband to be with him, blaming me for everything. It's a bewildering situation, and I'm left feeling misunderstood and isolated.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
boredathome1962
NTA. But there is always a risk that the messenger will get attacked. I guess it's easier to have someone to blame than to accept what really happened. Unfortunately, even though you did do the right thing, the bearer of bad news often gets it in the neck. This was recorded in ancient times , but the phrase don't shoot the messenger is only 500 years old, coming from Shakespeare.
eamkefgdfg453
NTA. It's true that being the messenger can be tough. Shakespeare's 'don't shoot the messenger' rings true even today. You did the right thing, and sometimes people need time to process the message without directing frustration at the messenger.
Glittering_Job_7996
NTA. Anger is misdirected towards you. Always a chance that the messenger gets shot in these situations.
ObsidianConspiracyXx
NTA. Can't help everyone.
Prestigious_Gold_585
NTA, but his fiance obviously doesn't know what being married means if she is offering to divorce her present husband and to return with him now. There is no fidelity to anybody. So she will continue being with anybody she wants when she wants.
Jolez50
How do you simultaneously plan 2 weddings? I wonder if the other guy knows about her other wedding and that she's offering to divorce him to marry the other. Just make them brother husbands and get it over with.
joesmolik
This is going to be hard stay away from that dumpster fire to both of them if you can because if your friend marries this girl after she divorces, it’s going to be nothing but pain. You did the right thing by telling him but I recommend limited or no contact with these people, they’re Jerry Springer show waiting to happen.
Yetikins
NTA at all but you cannot save everyone. If you friend wants to douse himself in gasoline and light a match, that's his own decision.
MPtheFirst
NTA. You would have been more of an AH if you had let him get married to someone willing to treat him like that. Chances are he's still processing and lashed out at you because you were the one that told him.
If he wants to make the choice to continue a relationship with someone willing to treat him that way, that's on him, not you. Also, the "fiancee" sounds like she's highly manipulative. I suggest distancing yourself from this couple.