GF asks if she was wrong to drop dinner on rug when BF 'jokingly' called her 'b*tch'.
I was over my boyfriend's apartment this weekend and I was cooking dinner because he was studying for exams. I made pasta and a chunky sauce with meatballs and veggies. I told him dinner was ready and he goes 'what's for dinner tonight, B*TCH' ... With like a lot of emphasis on the last word.
I was fed up, I'd had a pretty rough day with work and I have some awfully bad associations with that word being used by other people in my life who were pretty abusive. I was so irritated that I dropped the pot of pasta sauce I'd been carrying right on the ground and was like 'Well nothing's for dinner tonight now. And I better not hear you using that word again, it's for the girls'
He was freaking out about how sauce had landed on his rug and he even said 'you're seriously acting like a b**ch right now, I dunno what else to call it'
I just walked out and got takeout for myself and went to my friends house. She thought it was funny, but my boyfriend was furious. He kept texting and calling and sending me voice memos trying to explain that saying 'what's for dinner tonight b*tch' was a TikTok trend.... And that he was just quoting something as a joke to put on tiktok.
I thought that was the shittiest excuse ever, it doesn't matter if he saw it as a joke, or stole the 'joke', it was still disrespectful.
But it didn't change the fact he thought that sh*t was funny, to demean me when I was trying to do him a favor. Like hell I came over when he was studying to make a home cooked dinner and he decides it's time for jokes? So I put my phone on don't disturb for the night and split a bottle of wine with my friend and her roommate.
The next morning he was sending me angry texts demanding I clean his rug because he was too busy with exams to do it. I was shocked he left it overnight, that's disgusting. I texted him back saying. 'Yeah so that's the b*tch tax honey :) leave me alone till you're ready to handle your own cooking and cleaning because this b*tch isn't anymore. Also it's vile you left that soaking in all night'
He called me and told me that he was okay with doing his own household work, but I did throw a full pot of sauce at the ground so that's on me to clean up.
I told him 'yeah no I'm not comfortable doing chores for you if you see me like your b*tch'
He told me he didn't and it was just a 'trend' and I got pissed off he was playing that 'TikTok trend' BS excuse again and I told him 'Well I'm starting a trend called 'saucing' where as a little joke people throw pasta sauce around! You can't be mad because it's just a little trend, a little jokey joke, just a little prank bro!'
He got really pissed off and hung up on me and now I'm seriously wondering if this dumb f**king tiktok joke is gonna be the end of things between us
AITA for how I reacted when my boyfriend asked me 'what's for dinner tonight, b*tch'
Edit to address a comment I've gotten a lot and I don't have time to reply to every time:
'But did you tell him not to call you a bitch? Like how would he know otherwise?' Honestly if someone has gotten to the age of 30 and not realized that women (as a whole) do not like having demeaning slurs used against them... They're beyond my help.
This isn't something that needs to be told. I shouldn't have to go through life like 'Hey man just in case you were thinking I might like demeaning slurs against my gender used on me, I don't actually :)'
And if you were about to comment something like that, let me just tell you in no uncertain terms... WOMEN DO NOT LIKE BEING CALLED B*TCHES BY MEN. DO NOT CALL WOMEN B*TCHES. IF YOU NEEDED TO BE TOLD THAT IS UNKIND, CONSIDER YOURSELF OFFICIALLY TOLD. NOW YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT 'UNDERSTAND'
Comments:
bookynerdworm says:
NTA. 'Well I'm starting a trend called 'saucing' where as a little joke people throw pasta sauce around! You can't be mad because it's just a little trend, a little jokey joke, just a little prank bro!' Absolutely iconic.
uDontInterestMe says:
Of course it was Marinara - see all of the red flags??!! 🤣😂
mkat23 says:
OP may be my hero. I wish my younger self had the nerve to stand up for myself, hell, I wish me now was better with it. I definitely want to channel some OP energy the next time I date someone who wants to do what I’ve experienced in the past.
What a bad ass, I love this for her.
MsPaleoBot says:
SAUCING! Yes, girl, that punk got all the sauce he deserved. Let that stain be a reminder!
Zestyclose_Minute_69 says:
Like seriously? HE left sauce on the floor overnight in HIS apartment for her to clean up? What’s he gonna be like if they stay together? Like one day she gets home from work and the baby has sat in its own shit all day and he’s like “oh, it’s your baby, you had him, you change his diaper.” Or “oh, you left dishes in the sink after cooking, I’m not cleaning them up. I didn’t make the mess.”
PacifistWarFreak says:
NTA. But don't think about ending your relationship with him over it. Actually do it.