'Girlfriend makes life-sized puppet of her boyfriend. Drama ensues.' New Update and pics
"Girlfriend makes life-sized puppet of her Boyfriend. Drama ensues. Pics included in second update."
Mupetmistakethrowawy
I [23f] created a 1:1 scale puppet version of my boyfriend [22m] and showed it to him during foreplay as a joke. Now he hasn’t texted me in 12 hours and I’m starting to get worried. How do I get him to text me back?
The title pretty much says it all, but here are some more details: my boyfriend of six months and I have had a pretty cut and dry relationship up to this point. I’ve always been what some people would call “quirky,” so pranks are sort of my bread and butter.
He, John, has expressed that he really likes this part of me and I’m just happy to be with someone who can handle all of my zest, lol! Sometimes I worry that he doesn’t actually think I’m as funny as he says, but he always reassures me that this is not the case.
One of the ways we really like to express our humor to each other is in the bedroom, for example I love to do impressions of mostly Disney characters (such as the “paperwork” lady from Monsters Inc, haha). He sometimes does them too, but he’s not that good at voices.
So here’s where I think I may have taken it too far: I recently bought a sewing machine to try and make cosplay costumes and stuff, but something dawned on me as I was messing around with it. This was the plan:
One very important fact to tell you is that John does in fact wear glasses, so I will usually make a point to take them off and put them on the table for safety. During this particular romp in the hay, I got a really funny idea about how to take his glasses off next time and I couldn’t stop laughing.
He asked me what I was laughing at because he has some insecurity about his appearance, but I assured him that it was nothing like that. We had our fun and John went home, but all I could think about was this plan.
So the next day I went to the fabric store and bought a bunch of skin colored felt and wire framing and cotton and got to work creating a muppet-style version of my boyfriend to put his glasses on next time we started getting dirty style.
Honestly, the thing was looking pretty good and I even found some clothes at Goodwill that were his style. I dressed the puppet in the clothes, hid them under my collection of squishmallows that’s in my room, and invited him over. To spare you all the explicit details, we did start kissing and taking clothes off and stuff, but my hands were shaking as I reached up to grab his glasses.
Instead of putting it on my nightstand I made a point to say something like “I’m just gonna put these riiiiight here” as I stretched over to the squishmallow that was covering the puppet boyfriend’s head and put the glasses right over his felt eyes.
He got confused I think and looked back to where I put the glasses and sat up, as a felt version of his face (very easily identifiable by the way, John has red hair and a mustache, so the glasses on top left little question of who this could be).
He was silent for a second then said “is that supposed to be me?” as I was laughing. I said something like “do you like it?” as I took it out of the squishmallow pile and revealed the entirety of muppet John.
“Oh did you make that?” he asked, and I stood it up off the bed and asked him to stand next to it. “See? It’s just like you basically!” I said, but he still wasn’t laughing that much.
I think he saw that the muppet ended up being just a little bit taller than him (he’s 5’7 and probably insecure about that, the muppet ended up accidentally being a little taller than him, around 6’1 based on seeing them side by side).
I noticed his disappointment and did a tried and true Disney impression to make him feel better. In my best Goofy impression I said “Well, looks like we should call him Big, John, Hyuck!”
John just took the glasses off of Big John and let him fall to the floor, and put the glasses on the nightstand and sat on the bed for a while but we eventually went to Sin city but it was a lot more quiet than usual. He left after that, even though we were planning on having a sleepover. He said he wasn’t feeling good. I texted him goodnight and went to bed.
So here’s the ish: this morning I haven’t gotten any good morning text, or any texts at all from him, even though he always sends me a good morning text. I’m worried that Big John was a step too far and that normal john didn’t think the joke was as funny as I did.
I feel like he’s just putting me in an uncomfortable position by not telling me how this made him really feel, even though I thought it was pretty funny… Is this salvageable or am I effed?
9 days later, the OP returned with an update and some puppet pictures.
"UPDATE: I (23F) made a puppet version of my Boyfriend (22M) and he finally texted me back. [PICS INCLUDED] MODS WONT LET ME POST THIS"
Not sure why mods deleted my last post, but so many people were asking for updates that I’ll leave the original in comments. It’s really funny to read back lol, but here’s what’s happened in the last week:
So it’s been a wild couple of days or so, and I’ve been honestly a little depressed at the negative reaction from everyone. After my bf (John) left after we did the no pants dance in front of the puppet (big John) he didn’t text me for like a day and a half.
I was really starting to get worried and believe some of the comments that I was a serial killer :(. I was so sad that I didn’t even wanna look at the sewing machine to make my custom Disney ears with because it just reminded me of big John…
Speaking of big John, I hung him in the closet so I didn’t have to look at him, I was so ashamed. I was drawing when my phone buzzed and I saw it was finally John. All it said was: “hey, can we talk?”
I was super nervous and he came over to my place. It was awkward at first because it has been so long since we saw or talked to each other and I honestly thought things were gonna end, especially after reading all the comments. However, he apologized for his behavior and told me something that cleared things up.
So apparently his mom has been cheating on his dad with multiple younger men for years, and he and his dad just found this out the other day, the day I made big John. He wasn’t upset about big John at all!
I could tell he was still upset and my instincts were saying I should do a Disney voice, but I considered the comments from the last post and decided just to say “I’m sorry that happened to you, I hope your family is ok”
Then, the most surprising part, he said “I’m sorry to…” and then in his adorably not very good singing voice, sang “big John never bothered me anyway. I have something for him actually…” and brought out one of his favorite slap bracelets that his mom got him as a kid.
He pulled me into a hug and we danced like we were Cinderella and Prince Charming boyfriend. He tried to dip me but he’s not very strong so it created a funny moment where we kissed and then he led me to my “royal suite ;), and well, you can probably guess the rest…
We got on the bed and normal John had some smears on his glasses after kissing. He asked if there was anywhere, or anyone that he could put these on. I brought out big John and his hand fell off, but it was like a fairy tale romance when normal John placed the glasses on big John’s cute nose.
So for now, it seems like a happy ending :DDD!!! I’m sorry I didn’t post any pics with the original post but after seeing John’s reaction I was so embarrassed, and some of the comments were so mean that I wanted to just destroy big John and never think of him again.
But there were some very kind people who sent me private messages that made me feel a lot better and proud of my quirkiness, which could very well be autism as some commenters have stated (getting a test in a couple week :D) Also, stop thinking I would use big John for the devil’s tango… he is strictly an awesome way for normal John to have somewhere to put his glasses!
So after all this time I’ve gained the courage to share big John with you all like you’ve asked. I was happy with how it turned out and even happier that my beloved loved him as well!!
For those (AKA, all of us) wondering, here is the infamous puppet:
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
MaeveCarpenter
What the what did I just read?
SapphirePSL
She made an oversize puppet version of her boyfriend as one does, but it was the same day he had found out his mom was cheating on his dad so he was nonplussed. OP and boyfriend finally talk and, lastly, end up naked in the bedroom with the puppet. Try to keep up.
SereneAdler33
I try to keep an open mind in these things, everyone is different and has different quirks and all, but my god everything about this gave me intense second embarrassment. 😂 Jesus, even her descriptions of when they would become intimate are just… She describes sex like an awkward old man.
The crowing achievement was having enough squishmallows on the bed to hide a 6ft tall muppet. Literally WTF. Ok, I just looked at the pictures. I DESPERATELY hope this isn’t real. Get actual John into therapy please, if so.
DevelopmentCute5237
No shot her first idea when hearing the news was another Disney impression LOL thank god she had the sense to take in the first thread’s advice.
SoVerySleepy81
I mean if it’s a troll it’s very dedicated troll because that thing does exist. Which leads me to think that these are just a couple of weirdos who have found each other and I think that’s beautiful for them.
Excessive_lizards
I looked at the pics and damn John is an absolute trooper to still be able to have relations with that thing in his eye line. I'm nowhere near that thing and I don't think I'll be able to perform until the memory fades.