'Found out my GF pulled a cruel prank in high school. Is it a red flag if it was years ago?'

"My girlfriend told me about some mean pranks she did to a slower kid in high school. Is it a red flag even though it was a few years ago?"

So I (24/m) have only known my current gf (22/f) for about three months but we have great chemistry so far. A few days ago we were talking about some stories we each had from high school. She told me about a weird kid in her school that her friends used to mess with.

She used to pretend to be interested in being his girlfriend and then she'd embarrass him by getting him to do something humiliating or showing their private texts to other people, etc, or they'd set up some kind of elaborate prank on him.

In the story she told me, she was on a "date" with him one night in a park, and she told him she wanted him to take off his pants for her. After he did it, her other friends came and took the pants and everyone drove away leaving him alone to walk home in his underwear. She told me more stories but you get the point.

It made me sad though because I got the impression the guy might have been a little mentally disabled or something because she said that after everything they'd do he still wouldn't understand that she was in on all these pranks with her other friends.

She'd either pretend it had nothing to do with her or she'd make up some excuse I guess and the kid kept falling for it. She really thought it was funny though, like she could barely contain herself while she was telling me this stuff.

It's been a few days and it's bothering me so I figured I'd ask for some advice. I have a feeling this is a huge overreaction. It's just a strange feeling because she seemed incredibly sweet up to this point, but after telling me this story and the lack of remorse it's difficult to look at her the same way.

I'm not perfect by any means and I feel like I'm being a dick for judging someone about something that happened in high school but it still bothered me. Thanks for any advice.

This is what people had to say to OP:

Zeroflat96 said:

Red flag

juniperberry52 said:

If she told you and felt bad about it, then I would not hold it against her. But the fact that she still thinks it’s funny shows that she’s mean and/or immature. Not a good sign.

VinnyVincinny said:

She told you this to amuse or impress you? Yeah I'd call that a red flag. It wouldn't be a great sign if she told you this as a regret, but it's really bad that she hasn't found shame in her actions because that's some damn cruel behavior.

whatsmypassword73 said:

Oh my goodness, the fact that she doesn’t see it as a problem at this tells you everything you need to know. I wouldn’t have any respect for her and I wouldn’t trust my heart to her. She is sweet when she wishes to be, that is entirely different from kind.

Three days later, OP shared this update:

Hey everyone, first I wanted to say thanks for all the advice you gave me originally. I asked the question thinking I was overreacting but as I read some of your responses, especially from those who had traumatic experience themselves, it sort of knocked some sense into me so I appreciate that.

That being said, this was still pretty hard for me even though we've only been together for three months. I know that sounds silly but it's true.

I decided to take the advice of talking to her before breaking up. People wanted to know what the result was so I'll try to briefly give you the gist of it.

Last night we hung out for a couple hours and to be honest we really had a great time together and it was hard for me to even have this conversation at the end of it. I wanted to just move on and ignore the red flag, but I knew it shouldn't be ignored.

I brought up the kid she told me about again, but I did it very casually, not like I was gonna lecture her or something, so her guard was still down. She started laughing just at the mention of him. She casually told me another story of her friends' antics with him. I then asked her why they liked to mess with him so much. She paused for a second and then kind of giggled and said "I don't know, he was just a douchebag."

I asked "why was he a douchebag? Did he do something to you to make you mad at him?" She said "not really he was just so stupid and naive it was annoying." There was a pause because I didn't really know how to follow up to that answer, then she continued and said (exact words) "he had no purpose, he was just there to make people laugh."

It really made me sad to hear that because I wanted there to be some explanation that reduced the cruelty of the situation, but there wasn't. I got kind of angry and I just told her that everything she told me was absolutely horrific, that she should think about how she would feel if someone did these things to her.

I said that to torture an innocent person just because it's entertaining is a totally inhuman thing, and the fact that she still has the same mindset today shows how immature she is on top of it.

I'm normally not harsh like that but it just came out. While I was talking she gave me a look of total incredulity like she thought I was joking or going insane or something. I told her I can't continue a relationship with somebody like this even though we had such a great thing up to this point. I actually had to convince her I was serious and not joking around.

She thought the real reason I wanted to break up was this minor thing that happened a couple weeks ago. She just couldn't believe that I was ending the relationship because of this. Once she knew I was serious she got extremely angry, saying that I was just getting off on "shaming her" because I wanted to abuse her, and that I have no right to talk to her like that and so on.

She called me all kinds of names and said how she never liked me anyway and how I'm a loser, etc etc. But other than that we parted ways smoothly. I got some angry texts this morning which I'm saving for a while just in case.

So there it is. I honestly feel better already because I know it's for the better, especially considering her reaction. I figured I'd give you this update since everyone seemed pretty interested in the situation. Thanks again.