'AITA for not letting my boyfriend move in because I don't want his kids in my home?'
"AITA for not letting my boyfriend move in because I don't want his kids in my home?"
Lifeinstylez
I (F28) has been seeing my bf(M30) for slightly over a year now. He has two kids (F9, M7) from his past relationship and has them every other weekend.
We don't live together. He shares an apartment with his brother and I live alone in the apartment I own. I don't like people in my space and kids even less so. My home is my sanctuary.
Recently my bf asked if he could move in with me. He is normally a chill guy and I was sort of considering it. But I decided against it since he is a dad and wherever his home is, his kids would have a right to it too. I don't want kids messing up my home.
I told him no. But he started begging, saying how his brother wants to move his girlfriend in. Basically, they want him out and he cannot afford an apartment by himself. He went ahead saying, since I own my apartment, he would be able to save up on rent as well.
I stood stern on my decision and told him while I understood his situation, I don't want to open my home to kids. He tried saying how its just 4-6 days a month and he will make sure they behave. I refused to relent and now he is calling me the AH because he will lose custody. (If he can't find a good home his ex will sue him.)
AITA for not letting my bf move in cause I don't want kids in my space and may cause him to lose custody?
For everyone calling me out about having relationship with a man with children :
Its not a serious relationship. At least I never considered it to be.
He stays over 2- 3 nights a week at most. We have never talked about commitment, longterm or moving in before. I had at the beginning told him I dont want anything serious and he has agreed to keep it casual.
I am not childfree. I do hang out with kids. I have nieces and nephews I babysit at their home or take out for fun.
I haven't met bf's kids cause he said we weren't serious and he didn't want to bring random people into his kids' life. I accepted, cause we aren't serious. This asking to move in was out of the blue.
I don't want kids in my apartment because kids tend to be destructive and make a lot of noise. I have seen what his kids have done to the apartment he shares with his brother. They have legit broken a mac laptop of his. If they were teens or better behaved I might have considered the option more.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
MadameMimmm
NTA because it’s generally your choice who moves into your home or not. But two things:
why date a father, if you want nothing to do with children? Makes no sense, his kids are part of the package
red flag: he wants to move in and not pay rent, bc you own your apartment, so he can save up on rent? That would be a red flag for me and an absolute nono!
A little edit after OPs edit: Even more NTA, since you both agreed you are not serious. He is in trouble and you are the easy way out of his financial problems. DO NOT LET THE DUDE MOVE IN!
2badstaphMRSA
If he moves in it will be hard to get him to move out. I agree OP should reevaluate her relationship.
kittenoftheeast
Yeah, this guy is (reading between the lines) broke AF. He will be leeching off her.
Remarkable_Annual302
A hobosexual in its truest form.
AllTitsSomeArse
That right there is a hobo-sexual. Do not let him move in. Not your business to house him and his spawn. NTA There is no person more in love than one who doesn’t have anywhere to live.
AgonistPhD
He wants to freeload in your place to save money? Wtf. NTA, but I think it's time to reconsider the whole guy for multiple reasons, most of which everyone else has already covered.