Girl with prosthesis asks for advice about boyfriend pressuring her to take it off.
I (19F) have a below the knee prosthetic as I lost my lower left leg as a child in a car accident. I move well in it and it in no way hinders my day to day life. I've been seeing a guy (24M) for 5 months now and things are going great for the most part. The one issue i'd say is that he is insistent on me removing my prosthetic around him.
We could be hanging out and he'd suggest i'd be more comfortable with it off, or heading to bed to have s*x he'd suggest that it may be better to remove it. His suggestions have became requests as I kept ignoring the suggestions and I finally told him I wasn't comfortable with removing my leg around him yet as I didn't feel we were there.
My leg despite the fact I can move well in it is a source of trauma for me due to bullying and having had past partners be repulsed once I took it off around them and I told him as much but all he took from that is I don't trust him and think he'd be swayed and not like me anymore.
I don't take my prosthetic off around anyone except immediate family and very close friends as without it my mobility is greatly decreased. I thought since everything else is going so well he'd understand this but he is upset and angry seeing this as me not trusting him and thinking he'd 'do' something which is why I don't want to take it off around him.
I'm starting to feel some pressure here, but I like him a lot and maybe i'm making it into a bigger deal than it has to be? I don't want to upset him and maybe i'm being unfair?
Here's what people had to say:
Dark_Tangential says:
NTA, but move on. It sounds as though you’re his kind of “kink”.
XiaraDexter says:
It’s a fetish for some and seeing the amputation site turns them on.
NArcadia11 asks:
INFO: Has he explained why he's making that request? My assumption is that it's uncomfortable to cuddle/hookup with a hard prosthetic pressing against him but other people have mentioned amputee fetishes which would definitely be a red flag.
Conscious_Coffee_609 OP respondes:
He seems to think it'd be a sign of trust/comfort around him. I'm aware that there is a fetish around people like me though i've never personally encountered it I didn't believe he had this fetish but based on some of the comments i'm worrying. I'm always very careful of it and ensure it's not pressed into him so it's not about that.
APFernweh added:
A lot of people are raising the kink issue, which I think is totally valid and a true possibility. But, even if this isn't a kink thing - HE HAS NO RIGHT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR BODY.
bilinksi says:
Anytime you say 'I'm uncomfortable with doing x' and someone else says 'that's because you don't trust me, now do it anyway' that person is trying to control you. This is not a difference of opinion worth working out.
darling_cori says:
Agreed NTA. Folks messing with mobility is terrifying.