'My girlfriend broke up with me on the first day of our vacation.' UPDATED
"My girlfriend broke up with me on the first day of our vacation."
My girlfriend, ex girlfriend I guess and I just arrived at our resort today and we broke up at the airport before we even took off. The whole point of the trip was to get away so we could try to get our relationship happy again without dealing with work stress but she gave me yet another ultimatum and I called her bluff and she broke up with me.
She hasn't been in the hotel room but I know she's going to want to get back together and I don't think I want to. But ya, now we're stuck in a hotel room together for a week.
So what do I do? How do I make this not awkward? I don't want to fight with her but I don't think I want to get back together. And we live together so well have to deal with that when we get home.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s initial post:
"Yet another" ultimatum? What do you mean, you called her bluff? How often does this sort of thing happen? What was a vacation supposed to achieve? Why did you even get on the airplane?
ruinedtrip (OP)
She just give ultimatums for everything that she wants and I'm sick of it. This one was about how if I didn't ask someone to switch seats so we could sit together we'd break up. Its always stupid petty BS so she can get her way, she does it all the time. I got on because I paid for it so I wanted to come.
Is there no way you can get out of there before? Call your airlines, see if they can move you back a few days. If you can't, go out, have fun, get another room, bang anyone who wants to bang you. You're single now act like it.
Seriously though, get another room, in another hotel if possible. Since you're adamant that you're done with this relationship, good decision by the way, its better you get as far away from her as possible lest things get more awkward.
ruinedtrip (OP)
They can move my flight but its really really expensive so I'd rather not move it. I'll see if I can get another room, kind of sucks paying for two rooms though. I wish i could kick her out of mine, would that be wrong?
If you're paying for it, why not? She broke up with you, its her fault if she can't afford another room. She cannot expect to break up with you and still think you're going to pay for her.
Who breaks up with their partner on the first day of vacation anyway. Jeez. If she refuses to leave or any other nonsense, go to the front desk and tell them you need a change of room. You don't owe her anything.
Go have a nice vacation without her. Just go do your own thing. Hit the beach. Meet some ladies. Tell them the funny story about how your girlfriend dumped you for the dumbest reason ever. Don't get back together with her. Anyone who gives you ultimatums over dumb BS is a waste of your time. That's some high school nonsense.
Ten days later, then OP returned with an update.
I just wanted to update on my nightmare vacation. The first day was really bad, I stuck to the hotel room for most of it and when I finally went out at night she tried to start fights and get me to stop talking to people because she thought I was going to “cheat” on her.
The front desk person found me another room that was a huge upgrade so I moved there for the rest of the trip to avoid my girlfriend. I guess she didn't stay in the old room either so I'm not sure who ended up paying for that but I was expecting a huge bill for stuff she charged to the room.
It was pretty awkward but I did my best to have a good time. I met a ton of people, and it was easy to make friends since everyone thought the situation was hilarious. My girlfriend never went too far away, she would approach me a couple of times every day to "try and work things out so we can enjoy our vacation" and she kept an eye on me the whole time.
When I wouldn't talk with her she tried to start a fight and a couple times she actually screamed at me for everyone to hear. After it finally became clear to her that I was moving on she stopped bugging me and she flew out a couple days early.
I ended up spending most of my time with a group that was there for a wedding and even attended the ceremony. I'd rate it a 7/10 vacation all things considered. I feel a bit bad about how terrible her trip was.
I definitely did some things just to piss her off and that probably wasn't necessary. I was hoping that she would be mad enough to just move out of my house before I got home but she's still living here with me and now I'm living in my own basement just to avoid her.
I did give her an eviction notice but one month is far too long to be living with an ex. My dogs have been staying with my friends so I can make sure she doesn't try to take them or something but her staying here is really messing everything up.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s update:
Your vacation sounds like something that Jason Segel would play the lead actor in.
"I feel a bit bad about how terrible her trip was."
Don't... she chose to break up with you during a vacation. There are way better ways to handle that.
Believe me, I know, I got broken up with during a vacation, one that I even paid for. I dont feel bad in the slightest for anything I may have done to ruin that vacation for her. Sorry she is living with you still. Just try and avoid her until she moves.
The cognitive dissonance it takes to break up with someone over an ultimatum that YOU issued and then BEG them repeatedly to apologize to you so can save some kinda face with yourself but save the relationship is fully beyond my comprehension.
The ultimatum is a manipulative tactic. They’re not supposed to say no. It makes the whole thing fall apart.
I’m highly entertained by the bridesmaid having the traditional wedding hookup but skipping the traditional groomsman for the zero-stakes hookup with silly relationship disaster at the same resort. She knew exactly what she was doing going back to his room to make the ex jealous.
Props to her, and I hope she looks back fondly on the wedding and her side story with it. I hope OP also enjoyed himself and that afterwards he extricated his ex with a minimum of drama and went on to live his life happily.
Ex got the good old FAFO - lost her relationship, had a crummy baecation, and her housing all because she wanted him to check notes switch seats and sit next to her on the flight. When will people learn that ultimatums usually blow up in the demander's face.
Using a vacation to fix a failing relationship is in the same stupid family as having a kid to save a marriage. It just doesn't work, it's expensive and everyone ends up worse.