Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
GF heartbroken when BF reveals plan to tear down her childhood home as a 'gift.' AITA?

GF heartbroken when BF reveals plan to tear down her childhood home as a 'gift.' AITA?

ADVERTISING

"AITA for buying my girlfriend's childhood home for her? (Merry Christmas)"

MikeWood8

I, (28M) spent the holidays with my (22F) girlfriend and her family at their cottage. We've known each other for four years now, and this is my first time staying with her family. I haven't met many people in her extended family specifically, so I was trying to make a good impression. This is where the problems start.

Their cottage is tiny, and poorly ventilated. We've spent five nights there and when it gets dark at night the cold countryside air really hits and I've been freezing my ass off in bed with her.

I didn't get her a gift this year, but it's important to consider I'm the breadwinner between us and generally pay for everything in our apartment. (Appliances, bills, food, subscriptions etc.) Despite this, she seemed a little disappointed there was nothing under the tree for her. Which sure, my bad, but I got an idea after the fact...

The cottage itself was a huge topic of discussion during our visit. My girlfriend's (let's call her Nora) family does not have much money. Not a problem, like I said, but they know their place economically.

Her aunt, (Let's call her Linda) is making plans to sell the cottage. Linda has a daughter who is having major surgery (breast removal) and they need money to finance it. Normally I'd offer to help but considering I don't know this daughter very well I'm not sure I can trust it'll all go to the right place.

Regardless, selling the cottage would be a huge blow to the rest of the family. The cottage has been in their family since at least the 80's and is in a very beautiful lakeside location, which makes up for the small size and poor build of the cottage itself. Nora is opposed to the idea of Linda selling it as she essentially grew up in the cottage.

The money I make for us is from buying, fixing, and reselling land- which makes for perfect circumstances here. My Christmas gift? I'll buy the cottage, rebuild on the land, and their family can continue to rent it.

This'll also give them some money for Nora's cousin's surgery. It's a perfect scenario, really. I brought the idea up to both Linda and Nora separately, and the former and the rest of Nora's family seemed thrilled, but Nora did not.

She said she didn't want me "tearing down" somewhere that was so special to her. I don't see why she would care so much- as much as I tried to see her point of view, I don't see how putting up a new building would affect the memories she already has there.

Nora is a very sentimental person. She's been avoiding me for the past day or so, which is impressive considering the small space. She refused to sleep in the same bed with me last night and instead slept on the floor in the cottage's "living room".

I love how caring she is in many ways- it makes for a great partner, really, because she understands my needs, but I'm having a hard time reasoning with her on this one. She called me an "asshole", among other nastier things.

I think this is a huge overreaction, but after having spent the afternoon with her father, (Cool guy- a former pilot. We've had some good conversations) I'm starting to feel more self assured.

I'm just worried Nora's feelings about this will negatively affect our relationship. I was thinking about proposing with a ring I'd buy using the rent money her family would pay me in the future, but now I'm concerned this is going to make her run off.

I never want to upset my baby girl. So, Reddit, help me out here. AITA for wanting to buy my girlfriend back her cottage? Happy New Year everyone.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

throwaway_0x90

"I didn't get her a gift this year, but"

This is an inexcusable error.

huhgjde

YTAH - you didn’t get her a gift because you’re the ‘bread winner’ wtf?! You love that she’s caring cos she understands your needs?! You’re choosing to be a sugar daddy and then holding it over her head at Xmas before coming up with a big scheme to back pedal because you realise you’ve been a bad person and she was hurt.

I think she’s been very nice and accommodating allowing you to stay and hasn’t kicked you out bro.

BernardBrashear

NTA (yet). If you continue to pressure her then you will be. Your girlfriend family are not in a great situation but let somebody else exploit them if that's what needs to happen and you continue to make your money elsewhere.

FlounderSolid2659

YTA. You’re trying to help your girlfriend’s family by doing something that is making your girlfriend upset. Yea, you’re gonna fuck up your relationship, and then be stuck entwined in her and her family’s lives.

It’s not your family. You are being a “savior” but not considering what your girlfriend wants. This is not your place and is going to make things worse. Also buying their house and making them rent is NOT helping. It’s just you profiting off of their poverty. Also, you didn’t get her a Christmas gift?? Hello?? Do you have a brain in there somewhere?

zombieqatz

Yta To come in talking about how you'd buy the land, tear everything down, rebuild and then charge the family to stay there that sounds like what they should be facing regardless, but with a cruel personal touch :

'A guy I dated once couldn't even bother to buy me a present, stayed on this land for 5 days and started thinking of ways to take advantage of my family's money troubles to get it from under us.'

So, do you think the OP was in the wrong here or was this blown out of proportion?

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content