Man dines and dashes on girlfriend for not paying for his birthday dinner. AITA?
'AITA for refusing to pay for my bf’s food on his birthday and getting him banned from a restaurant?'
I (18f) have been dating my boyfriend, John (20m) for a little under a year. We have a pretty toxic free relationship but there’s quite a bit of tension when it comes to me being vegetarian. I’ve been vegetarian since 11 and I have very strict morals around it.
The one thing John has a problem with is me refusing to spend my money on meat. Ever since I started making my own money, I swore to myself that I would never spend a cent of it on meat.
On our dates, we usually split the bill and sometimes he pays for it all. I told him if he orders something meat-free, I’d happily pay for both of us but he never does.
His birthday was a few days ago and we went out for dinner at his favorite fancy restaurant. He got the most expensive steak they had along with a side salad and a bottle of wine.
When we finished our food, I asked the waiter to split the bill and John looked at me shocked. He asked if I was joking and I said no. Then he told me he thought I was going to pay since it was his birthday and he didn’t budget for the meal.
I asked him why he thought I’d pay since I’ve been very clear about my rule but he couldn’t give me a reason other than it being his birthday.
I told him I’d pay for the wine and the side salad, but he’d need to pay for the steak. He was furious with me and stormed off to the bathroom. I paid for my meal, the wine and the salad and waited for him to come back. He didn’t. After waiting for 20 minutes, I left.
I found him sitting on a bench near where we parked the car. I asked him why he left and reminded him he needed to pay. He looked shocked when I said that and asked me if I didn’t pay.
I told him I’d paid for everything but the meat and he lost it. He started yelling at me, telling me I was selfish, that I needed to grow up. I stayed calm and told him he needed to go back and pay. He scoffed and walked away. I ended up driving home without him.
Now he’s saying it’s my fault that he can’t show his face in his favorite restaurant since he dined and ditched. It’s a pretty small restaurant so he’d 100% be recognised and kicked out.
So, AITA?
EDIT: To the people commenting about me not “treating” him on his birthday, yes, I did. I even dipped into my savings for his present.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA. Ignoring the vegetarian stuff, who the f*ck orders the most expensive steak possible and then expects their partner to pay for them without having checked prior. And then storming off to the bathroom expecting that to pressure you into paying for it. Op I hope you can see all the huge red flags here.
Their 18 year old partner!
Exactly, 18yo's generally can't afford an expensive steak dinner unless they're given the money for it by their parents/guardians.
NTA-For refusing to pay for his steak. Y T A to yourself for staying with someone who acts like this and treats you so poorly.
NTA. He thought he had you trapped into paying for meat. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and your boundaries.