When this groom doesn't want to accommodate his parents, he asks Reddit:
My girlfriend (26 F) Sarah and I (26 M) have been dating for a few years now. Our parents are fine with the relationship, and there were basically no issues at all.
I asked her hand out for marriage today, and she said yes. She appeared excited enough for it, and then the conversation turned to what date we should perform the wedding in. I told her that we can fix a date after consulting both of our parents, and she appeared surprised.
She asked me what I want to consult the parents for, that we can just fix the date and inform them about it in that we're getting married that day. I told her I absolutely wasn't going to do that, and said it's not as if they'd refuse it anyway. They've already approved the relationship, but that it's important to consult them before setting a date.
She attempted to convince me to just decide it ourselves as it was "our life", but when I refused point-black to entertain her, she accused me of being a "Momma's boy" and that I can't think for myself. She got up and left, and hasn't contacted me since. It's been a few hours now. AITA?
Kinda YTA. Best thing in this case would be both you & your fiance coming up with a date, then letting the parents know & if they have any inconvenience, if so, you all can talk over it.
That way, you two can select your own wedding day. Your fiance got angry because she didn't like that you'd ask your parents to consult the date instead of doing it yourself & with her. The day is about you & her, not your parents.
NTA. If the parents are to be involved (does she want to walk down the aisle with her dad? He'd better be able to be there then) or if it's imperative they be there (emotionally, family ties, etc.), then yes, consult them.
If the wedding is to be 3-4 years out, it's less important; but if they've already got commitments on the day you happen to choose, what then?
"Hey, parents, we're getting married! We're shooting for May 28, 2025. Please let us know right away if you have prior, concrete commitments that date."
YTA. Why do you need to ask them or consult with them? Is there a valid reason? Because unless you’re verifying it’s not the same date as someone other major life event (which you should already be keeping track of those since you’re an adult), then yes, YTA. Needing to check with mommy and daddy does come off as juvenile and immature.