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Guy tells GF she needs to 'accept' he's smarter than her; 'she has other strengths.'

Guy tells GF she needs to 'accept' he's smarter than her; 'she has other strengths.'


AITA for telling my girlfriend to accept that I am smarter than her?

My (M24) girlfriend (F23) has had a recent, annoying obsession with trying to out-compete me in all sorts of intellectual games. She brings me crosswords, puzzles, logic riddles, math problems, and gets frustrated when I outdo her 95% of the time.

She even begs me to play chess and other 'intelligent' games, but throws a tantrum every time she loses. I really don't know what's gotten into her. She literally used to tell me that she liked me because I was very smart, and that guys dumber than her repulsed her.

But now she is suddenly upset about it? I told her after a chess game yesterday to stop testing me and just accept that I am smarter than her at these types of games, and she started crying and called me a condescending a**hole.

I tried explaining to her that she has other strengths where she outdoes me by far and there's no use competing over unimportant things like this, but it seems the damage was done. AITA?

Info from OP:

I never insinuated she was dumb. In fact, intelligence hardly comes up in our conversations normally, she just recently got into this phase.

I don't think anyone is resentful of me being smart. First of all, I'm not even claiming to be smart, just smarter than my girlfriend at some types of math and logic games.

And I see why people are judging my response but I think they are failing to consider how my girlfriend has instigated all these competitions and threw tantrums when she loses.

She's not a delicate five year old who needs to have the truth sugar coated. It is clear that I outdo her in this specific field, which she literally says she likes in partners, but is somehow mad about. She needs to get over it. I told her she outdoes me by far in other fields, and that intelligence isn't so narrowly defined, but she insists on a narrow definition of math and logic.

Here's what people had to say:

Buck_Slamchest writes:

I have this image in my head of you being a bit of a di*ck about it every time you “outdo” her. “Honey, just accept it. You’re dumb” Do you really have to ask ? YTA

SelectRecord767 writes:

YTA. you are being a d*ck here. This conversation should not have led you here. It is obvious that you enjoy beating her in the games and are flaunting it here. Come on man ... be humble ... you can never tell other people especially your loved ones that they are dumb.

The_Death_Flower writes:

Also, calling someone « dumb but it’s okay you have other strengths » isn’t exactly better. It’s like saying to someone « just accept that I’m more attractive than you, even though someone will be attracted to you »

Low_Conversation9348 writes:

YTA. just let her win a game every once in a while and stop making comments that clearly hurt her feelings. and please do some maturing and growing too. it doesn't seem like you're emotionally mature enough to take an L every now and then.

throwawaytctlsbf OP gets the last word:

Letting her win is far more condescending when she clearly wants to play a fair game. She's not a child to be consoled. And, I already decided to stop playing against her because she is a sore loser.

Sources: Reddit
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