'AITA for thinking that marriage counselling is just my wife trying to break up with me?'

"AITA for thinking that marriage counselling is just my wife trying to break up with me?"

I [39M] and my wife [36F] are obviously going through a less than awesome marital phase, and she's suggested that we try couples counselling. Other than the fact that it sounds absolutely horrible, I'm pretty sure there's zero point.

My wife is pretty much perfect. She's smart, kind, funny, well liked by everyone who meets her. She's a professionally successful doctor, and I'm an unemployed freelance photographer. I also have a slight drinking problem, which has thrown a ton of gasoline on our marriage.

So I don't really see how counselling will help, because I think I'm too obviously the dead weight in our marriage. And I feel like counselling is only gonna offer her an opportunity to break up via a third party, which kind of angers me as a concept. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought of this man's dilemma.

carbonbase writes:

You admit your wife is this perfect woman in every way possible, but somehow shift the blame to her when you admit your own faults that are throwing 'gasoline on your marriage.' YTA dude. Drop your ego, get help for your 'slight' drinking problem, and attend counselling with your wife.

She's the only one actively trying to save this marriage. If you hesitate, you will spend your life as a bitter person wondering 'where it all went wrong' when all you need to do is be a better husband and human being to your self-described pretty much perfect wife.

unholyerror writes:

YTA and you also have a supremely messed up interpretation of your wife's intentions, here. If your wife wanted to dump you and get rid of you, I'm sure there are far cheaper and far less stressful ways of achieving it, than involving a relationship therapist in the mix.

She sounds like she's at the end of her rope, but it also sounds like she wants to make it work. If I were you, I'd just be grateful that your shit isn't sitting outside on the sidewalk with the locks changed. She's making a gesture of a last ditch effort, and I'm not too sure why that's making you angry?

It sounds like she really loves you, because myself- I'd kick an unemployed alcoholic partner to the curb in a heartbeat, no questions asked, I would never ever tolerate it or put up with it. Count your lucky stars, and quit yer whinging.

missrach4 writes:

YTA. Here’s a tip for ya buddy. I begged my exH to go to marriage counselling because we had a terrible communication style and were so antagonistic towards each other. I could see where our marriage was headed and genuinely wanted to improve it.

He refused - he thought counselling was only for couples breaking up. We died a slow death over the next eighteen months as my resentment grew because I felt like I was the only one making an effort to fix things.

My love for him evaporated, and I told him I was done. All of a sudden he was desperate to try counselling. But for me it was too late, I’d already checked out. If your wife wants counselling, it means she still cares enough to save your marriage. When she stops asking, she’s already decided to leave. Go to counselling, my dude.