On Reddit's 'Am I the A**hole' forum, it's hardly unusual to come across a toxic relationship or terrible partner — but the audacity of this husband's 'birthday' excuse has struck a particular nerve. His wife writes:
'AITA for not serving my husband leftovers?'
I have been off the last 4 days. So I finally had a chance to do some spring cleaning. I deep cleaned the whole house. Yes, this did take all 4 days.
I did bathrooms, fans, oiled wood tables, opened and cleaned windows -- everything. My husband sees I am off and I have had to serve him every meal since I am home. 90 percent of the time I don't mind. Yesterday I was tired and was making steaks for dinner so I didn't feel like making a breakfast omlette too.
He got upset and I ended up making both breakfast and dinner. Since I didn't want to fight, but he says I made a face.
After dinner last night I packed up left overs and made it clear that I would not be making ANYTHING tomorrow. Everyone agreed since I work today. When he got off work this morning I served him something quick to eat. I have a hotel booked for this weekend for us.
I was trying on clothing and packing when he asked to heat up his leftovers. I said 'I told you yesterday I wasn't making anything today.' He responded with 'you're going to make a problem over heating something up on my birthday month?'
I responded with, 'I am tired and explained yesterday you keep making problems with me over food.' He turned it around and said, 'no you're making the problems over food. You just don't want to serve me anything anymore. Cancel the reservation, I'm not going anywhere. Thanks for ruining my birthday month!'
Now I did heat the leftovers which of course he refused to eat. And the reservation is too late to cancel so now I'm out money, too.
The comments put this man firmly in his place.
His birthday month? What the absolute f*ck?
Hon, it sounds like you have a job, and yet you are also in charge of all household chores AND all food preparation?
And your husband can't heat up his own leftovers? Are his arms broken?
And then refusing to eat the food when you made it for him? He's straight up abusive.
This relationship is wildly unbalanced. You need to get into individual therapy and deprogram from this being anywhere near normal. It's not. NTA
'Birthday month' is something my 6 year old says. Never heard anyone older say it. Frankly it rather sounds like my lad is more mature than OPs significant other.
OP, healthy, mature adults don't use that excuse, ever. It's cringe and I am embarrassed on his behalf. What other excuses does he have for the other months of the year?
NTA but your husband is. He wants you to cook, clean and organize everything and all he has to do is show up? He sounds very controlling.
'the reservation is too late to cancel so now I'm out money too.'
No you aren't. Tell him the reservation is made and you will be there. He can show up if he wants.
Who really uses “it’s my birthday month” as a way to get out of situations? Plus he really can’t heat up leftovers? Easy NTA
Seriously, birthday MONTH??? I thought my 5 yo daughter having 'birthday week' was bad. NTA at all. This is absurd and OP should be relieved they don't have to go away with him for the weekend. I don't know where people come up with this stuff, my wife would be furious and we'd be in counseling if I talked to her like that
NTA. Don’t cancel the reservation! Go yourself and get some rest. Your husband is an asshole, a abusive one. He’s playing mind games with you.