Woman files for divorce after discovering husband cheated on her during childbirth.
"Still can’t believe my husband cheated on me as I gave birth."
Purple_Grass_5300
I filed for divorce Thursday, the day before my birthday, and with a 9 week old and toddler. I can’t believe after 14 years this is where our relationship ended. In March he abruptly broke up with me through text, as I was hemorrhaging, worried my baby wouldn’t survive. He was saying he just needed space for one or two weeks but it only got worse and worse.
I asked him so many times if he was cheating and how it could put the baby’s life in danger and questioned if that led to the hemorrhaging but it was always a strong denial. He did lose his job at nbc at the time and swore he was going through a midlife crisis type of ordeal.
I ending up finding the Facebook group and posted on “are we dating the same guy” and someone responded that they saw him on bumble and had a date scheduled that Friday, the same Friday he refused a visit with our toddler saying he would be out of state.
That week I met with a divorce attorney and he showed up unannounced after not seeing us for 60 days. He swore it was an old profile, an ex, etc. he promised he wanted to be with me, but clearly was treating me like garbage.
I gave him so many opportunities to tell the truth. I would bluff saying people sent me dirty pics and knew his address, etc and he still wouldn’t admit to it. I picked a random girl off his friends list and he claimed he slept with her in 2020.
That’s was when I knew things were really bad, cuz what are the odds that I could randomly pick someone he cheated on me with just based off their profile picture. He still swore he wasn’t cheating, was going to be a family, etc.
I’ve been in therapy, I was telling myself I’m not going to dig and drive myself crazy and just focus on my own goals. He would start threatening me saying we could be together but if I ever brought up his cheating he would never speak to me again regardless if it was a week from now or years later.
Obviously, that set me off because who tells that to a postpartum woman, then when I didn’t agree he said he hated me, which he’s never said. Well this last Saturday he blocked me out of nowhere when he was supposed to see the kids.
I again, posted on the Facebook group, but this time found out so much more. He met a woman, whose not even single, and took her out on dates, had s3x with her the day I gave birth and he was supposed to be with our toddler but my mom came over early and said he didn’t have to stay overnight, and then continued texting her for my entire postpartum period.
It didn’t stop there though, another woman sent proof that he was trying to sleep with her in 2020, another pregnancy of mine and messaged her trying to hook up over a 2 year span. Then I started finding out he was hooking up with men.
At this point, I’m spiraling. I messaged his mom and his sister, posted in a few more local groups. He unblocks me asking why I’m kink shaming him. I’m like are you serious, he sleeps with someone else as I give birth and blocks our children saying he’s never visiting, and he’s worried about me kink shaming.
He’s admitted to sleeping with a “handful” around 2018, cheating with women once in August 2023 while we were trying to get pregnant, once in January before I had any worries, that week he left me in March, and then this one in August. I’m sure it’s 100x worse than I know.
I still am so disgusted by his fetlife, groups about breeding, anonymous sex, I had zero idea he was bisexual. After I found out about the profile, he didn’t use it in the 6 days so I was curious if he’d be back off or move to something else, but nope he was on last night liking 70 year old women’s nudes. I’m done checking. I’m done with him. I’d never look at him the same the rest of my life.
I never in a million years would’ve thought this is where my life would end up. In a way I’m glad it’s so extreme because I’m not insecure in the least. I know I’m a good woman. I was a good wife.
I can see all the posts he likes, and I know I’m more attractive. I just can’t believe he could lie to my face, treat me with such anger and hatred while I was pregnant in a PLANNED pregnancy, and couldn’t even tell the truth. Who the hell does this?
I’m kinda annoyed that his mom and sister didn’t respond but I’ve heard they read the messages. But they blamed me for the divorce saying I was just insecure. Like yeah no he was hooking up with strangers and neglecting our toddler. I honestly think maybe I’ll write a book or something cuz it’s ridiculous how you could know someone nearly half your life and they spend the entire time lying.
The only plus side is he has a lot of money so I’m looking forward for alimony and child support. I know CS will be $233/week with him covering daycare but not sure alimony yet. It’s more than he helped when we were married.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
burntgreens
My ex husband has a double life that only became known in the year after our split. It was a real mind bender to realize I hadn't known him, that I hadn't actually been loved and safe. Take care. Go slow. Reach out. Be gentle with yourself.
boomdeeyada
Similar deal, but add finding CP on his computer while my 6-year-old was undergoing cancer treatments. Cheated on me starting when we were dating in college with both men and women. I found out 11 years into our marriage that I never knew him. He was never who I thought he was.
Girl, this side of divorce is a dream. It's not the future I ever imagined for myself but it's so much sweeter in so many ways. Oh, and the kids will be okay. Mine are now in high school and college and they know exactly the kind of man their father is and I never had to explain anything to them. They always figure it out eventually.
Peanut_galleries_nut
He put you in so much danger and your children while you were pregnant by not knowing if he was using protection or not and him screwing around with god knows who. I’m so sorry.
HildursFarm
He swore it was an old profile when you've been together 14 years and Bumble has only been around 10. He's a stone cold idiot. 233 a week for two kids is pretty low, I hope you end up getting alimony.