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Husband finds wife's Reddit comment about him. 'IDK if I can come back.' UPDATE

Husband finds wife's Reddit comment about him. 'IDK if I can come back.' UPDATE

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'My wife commented on a post from reddit and now idk if I can come back from it.'

Bucky570

Today I found a post from my wife. Actually it was a response to a post. The post was if you could tell ur younger self something 5 years ago what would u tell yourself.

My wife's comment was don't have a 2nd kid and get divorced. it shattered me after reading it. I know we are going through a really rough patch. We both aren't perfect.

But that is something that broke me. It sad cause now I feel nothing. I'm not angry. I'm not sad. I'm not resentful. I just feel nothing. What do I do? We are already in marriage counseling and single therapy.

The top comment was a back and forth between a concerned citizen and OP.

Charm59801

Do you want to get divorced? If so pull the plug. If not do the work and fix your marriage.

OP

I've been trying for months. She is the one fighting back. Saying stuff of how she wants to find herself and explore. But after reading that idk if I want to be with her anymore

Charm59801

Understandably, that would be a gut punch to read. Maybe tell her you saw it and go from there? Can't really get much worse

OP

I actually did. I told her that she has a week to change my mind and to pray for a miracle. But idk if I'm doing the right thing. I have to think about my kids to not just me

Here's how some others weighed in.

Justicebeaver358:

It doesn’t sound like she wants to be with you if she’s not making an effort to stay with you and posted that. I think giving her an ultimatum just speeds her exit.

Windowseat1F

Reddit should really be anonymous, that’s kinda the whole point.

Swoonmermaid

Meh sounds like a vent, not meant for you to read. I’ve said similar and didn’t meant it, just had to write it and release it

Plebe-Uchiha

Statistically speaking, it’s very common for the wife to be unhappy and for the husband to be oblivious about it.

You got to find out. Now, work on it the best you can. If you fix it, great! If you don’t, great, because you tried your best, and won’t suffer the regret of not doing enough. Moreover, you’ll both eventually be happier in the end. It’s a win-win.

Give it all you got. I’m rooting for ya buddy [+]

Least_ask2145

Take a deep breath. I know you're hurt. I'm sorry for your pain and hers. Have you asked her about it? That might be the best step, as hard as that is.

Do you want to fix your marriage? Then, talk to her. Try, as hard as it is, to put yourself in her shoes. Remember, marriage is a promise AND a commitment. Sometimes, you've got to be the one to fight....even when she feels like giving up. 💗

OP:

I'm going to try. But like I said I feel nothing anymore.

A couple days later, OP returned with an update.

First off I would like to thank everyone for the comments whether good or bad. For all of those people who was angry that I gave my wife an ultimatum I should have said she gave me one first 2 months ago. Not going to go into it what hers was.

So on to what happened. I did confront her and that nite we had a fight. After going back and forth I finally asked her what she wanted.

This is were she broke down and started crying. She said she didn't want to get divorced and her comment was impulsive and she regretted it. She was hurt that I was giving her one worded responses.

She texted me because she was lonely and depressed. I told her I was on the toilet and I was sorry she felt like I was ignoring her but I wasn't. So after a lot of talking and forgiving each other cause I'm not perfect either and we both have done some stuff in these past months, we are not going to get divorced.

We are going to work on getting better for each other and for our kids. Our first marriage counseling was yesterday and I have some big issues I need to take care of to be better for my wife. She does to. We are not out of the woods but we are heading In the right direction 😀

Some were happy, other skeptical in the comments.

ProfessorButtkiss

You guys had one of the most important conversations about your marriage over text? Over TEXT?!?!?!

Step one: learn to talk about important things face to face.

I sincerely hope counseling helps you guys.

Betona

Thanks for the update. It sounds like your both willing to learn new relationship skills and that's important. We all can learn and become better.

Bigedcatcuthead

You commented in your previous post: "She is the one fighting back. Saying stuff of how she wants to find herself and explore."

What does she want to "explore"?

OP

I was her first in everything. She wanted to explore things she missed out on. She wanted an open marriage so she could date and be with other people

Justicebeaver1358

I would be worried that that feeling may go away temporarily but can resurface in the future

DescendedChuckNorris

OP I would like to share with you that when my husband and I have difficult talks about anything in our marriage, we sit together, I sit in his lap and he wraps his arms around me, and then we can talk.

Not sitting across from one another, not opposing, not individuals, we are touching. It allows us to have intimate, difficult conversations, to feel each other's response, to feel connected.

You cannot fix a union by being apart..

Deleted

I love a good fight for the marriage! I hope you both can find peace and happiness in counseling and come out the other side hand in hand!

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