Husband returns seeking forgiveness after leaving wife and newborn for another woman. UPDATED 4X
"Husband left me and our newborn baby for another woman"
Better-Manner-7205
We’ve been married for 3 years. I’m 30 he’s 34. I had a baby 6 weeks ago after giving birth my husband was cold and so distant,I thought that he needed time to adjust to the new normal but turns out he was actually planning to leave us.
2 weeks ago he said to me that’s it’s not working out anymore and he doesn’t want to be married to me. The news broke my heart I kept asking him why was he doing this to our family and his response was “ I can’t pretend anymore”.
He took all his clothes and left 2 days after. I just had this gut feeling that he was seeing someone else so I got into his email and found hotel reservations, he brought her on a vacation when I thought he was on a business trip.
I searched her name on Facebook and saw him in the background of her pictures. Turns out this has been going on for a year. I’m so hurt dealing with this and taking care of a new born baby. I’ve been crying all day for the past 2 week and being delusional thinking he will come back to us when he realizes he made a mistake.
I texted him when I found out about the other woman and he ignored me then hours later asked how our son was doing so I blocked him. I’ve been feeling so lost I have no appetite haven’t been eating,as a result my milk supply is really low. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's initial post:
loricomments
I know this is hard but you've got to pull yourself together for your child's sake. Make yourself eat, then call in whatever family and friends you have for support, then call a lawyer. Divorce that loser and get your child support.
a-_rose
Document everything and get a lawyer ASAP, change the locks and separate your finances. Focus on healing and your baby, you’ll get through this.
MissssAmurica
I had this happen to me. I almost died. Our baby was in the NICU for weeks. You have got to not dwell on him. Looking back you dodged a bullet. You must take care of yourself because your baby needs you.
Do not stress over breastfeeding because there is nothing wrong with formula. Get a lawyer and get him out of your life ASAP. Bottom line is you deserve so much better. I’m here if you need me. Hang in there sis. ♥️
AnyDecision470
I am so sorry your husband is devoid of any decency. You are in shock. BUT: he is going to be moving on making plans, changes quickly. He’s not grieving: he’s celebrating his freedom. Grieve later! Now’s the time to be a fierce mama bear! Gather your anger, it will help you now. Cry later when all is said and done.
Get all the evidence and proof of his infidelity. Those photos, emails, receipts, credit card statements, bank account balances. He used marital assets on her, and in the past year, he might have spent more money on his deceit. You have to protect and your innocent child.
Secure finances. Get a lawyer immediately! They will help you and protect you. Get fierce. Stay strong and cold. Only text or email. Think about the future. He may want 50/50 custody. That means SHE will be helping to raise your son. The time to grieve the life you built is later. NOW, you fight and secure the future for you and your precious baby.
"Update: Husband left me and our newborn baby for another woman"
Better-Manner-7205
This morning, my husband came back, saying he made a mistake leaving his family and wants to work things out. These past weeks have been so rough; I’ve cried myself to sleep many nights all while taking care of a baby.
I’m still hurting and feel even worse now that he’s back. Coming back doesn’t erase all the emotional stress he’s caused me. He left me and our baby when we needed him the most. I’m so lost and confused.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
gsusfreak
He cheated, left you and your kids. ma'am please tell me you have lawyered up for a divorce.
Hungry_Blood_3949
He had a whole parallel life for an an entire year while she carried his baby and gave birth. This guy is an extra big scumbag.
grumpy__g
Don’t forgive him. Go to a lawyer first. She probably kicked him out.
Bougieb5000
I wonder if she even knew he was married and/or had a pregnant wife/newborn baby. I bet she recently found out, just my guess…
The OP responded here:
Better-Manner-7205
I think she knew! He told me he left her I don’t believe him. I actually sent her a message I’m currently waiting on a response.
whatashame_13
He cheated for a year, living a full life with AP going out, vacations, spending money on her... just leave it is not with it, make aure he pays child support and take half if you can.
"Update: Text messages from other woman"
Better-Manner-7205
Texts with AP and I, this confirms he’s a LIAR and has been lying to both of us. My previous post was very vague, so I thought I'd provide more detail. When my husband came back yesterday, he apologized and said it was a huge mistake.
He admitted he wasn’t thinking straight and would do anything to make things right between us. He wants to be here for me and our son, repeatedly asking what he needs to do to make things right.
I told him I didn’t want to see him right now and that it was best if he left, but he refused and kept begging to stay, saying he was sorry and calling himself an idiot who doesn’t deserve me. I asked why he did this to us, and he admitted he wasn’t thinking clearly and said nothing can justify his horrible actions.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
Cocomelon3216
He is such a POS. I'm glad you reached out to the other woman so she was also made aware that he is a pathological liar. He deserves to lose both of you. Don't believe the apologies and love bombing. He can never be trusted again. Are you able to kick him out and divorce him straight away?
psychede1ic_c4tus
Girls who have each other backs 🫡
WearyYogurtcloset589
He is a cheater and a liar. I'm not super sure about her either because she knew that he was married. She found out about the pregnancy, and he said that you were trying to baby-trap him, which means that he was obviously still intimate with you/his wife, but she still continued the relationship.
I'm sorry, we probably wouldn't be friends,she knew that he was married and still home with his wife. Her excuses are crap to me. She was fine with a man leaving his new born and wife to move in with her. Keep her around if your state is an at fault state,otherwise hell NO. Plz tell me that you threw him out. Update me!
"Update: husband left me and our newborn for another woman"
Better-Manner-7205
In the process of filing for a divorce, the stress has been overwhelming. It even landed me in the hospital my blood pressure was extremely high and I was severely dehydration.
My attorney advised me to move back into the house until the divorce is finalized. Since then, things have been very strange. My husband is now trying to win me over, but it's too late. I strongly dislike him for leaving me for another woman.
He has been taking care of our son during the day to give me breaks, cooking meals, and even bringing the food to me. I haven't been eating it; instead, I throw it in the trash and have told him to stop cooking for me. He brought me flowers, which I also threw away. He’s been trying to talk to me, but I walk away and lock myself in my bedroom (I’m staying in the guest room).
Last night, he asked if we could watch a movie together, and I said no and told him to leave me alone. He’s even cried and begged for another chance but I can’t get over what he’s done to me.
Despite everything, I found myself crying tonight because I feel bad for treating him poorly. Why am I feeling bad for someone who disregarded my feelings and left me alone with our baby when I needed him the most?
Want to add:
I'm having a weak moment, second-guessing myself. Am I making the right decision by filing for this divorce? even though I know it's the right thing to do!
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
Skinsunandrun
It’s normal to feel this way, because you have a heart unlike some lying cheating bastards. Do not take him back, stay strong. I’m sure you’ll see his true colors once he sees you’re not budging.
anonny42357
You are not treating him badly. You are treating him with all the kindness he deserves. I am so so sorry. I've been following your story, and it blows my mind that he thinks he can grovel his way back into your good graces.
Complete-Design5395
You’re doing nothing wrong. You’re protecting your heart from further damage by keeping him at arms length. He’s going to go from super repentant and sweet to super angry soon, I bet. Brace yourself.
Hopefully you’ll be able to get away from having to live with him soon. That’ll make a world of difference. Stay strong, OP. You deserve better than him. So does your baby.
"Update: husband left me and our newborn baby for another woman"
Better-Manner-7205
Still in the process of getting a divorce.I've been doing my best to ignore him and keep my distance, focusing on my son instead. I visit my parents every day, and sometimes l even spend the night with them.
Despite this, he's still being nice or at least pretending to be. I'm not sure if it's an act, but l have been ignoring it. He still makes food and coffee for me, but because I don't trust him, l usually don't eat the food.Sometimes I'll drink the coffee.
Last night, I was sitting on the couch watching a movie around midnight, thinking he was already in bed. While the movie was playing, he came in and asked if he could sit and watch with me.
I told him I didn't care and to do whatever he wanted. He sat down, and later on, he touched my leg and kissed me. We ended up having s3x he finished in one minute. I went to bed last night, instantly regretting what happened, and now I'm so mad at myself. My head is all over place.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's final post:
SeparateCzechs
Now OP needs another STD screening, since cheating husband could be carrying anything.
liontamer74
I love how often either people mis-type or autocorrect turns 'marital' to 'martial'. It's usually very appropriate. What a dreadful man OP's husband is.
peter095837
Jesus....things are just getting worse and worse.
This guy is a creep.