"My husband's BFF finally got a girlfriend and I hate her."
I'm glad he's happy, but I'm not looking forward to hangouts in the future if this relationship lasts. We just met her for the first time the other day, they've been dating a couple months but we don't live close anymore.
Right from the introduction, she just kind of rubbed me the wrong way, and I'm finding it's hard to explain… Almost like she was acting as though she's been in the picture for years and we were the newcomers? It was weird, but I tried not to let it really get to me.
What did get to me was later - my husband's friend was describing something his mom did recently [she got food from a fast food restaurant drive-through, drove down the road and realized her order was incorrect… And she went to a completely different restaurant location to complain about her food and demand it remade, which they refused].
Husband's friend had brought this up because he, like we, were confused as hell why his mom thought going to a completely different restaurant to fix her food was the right option. But new girlfriend is on mom's side, and was adamant that restaurant franchisees have agreements to fix food made at another store because "it's the same brand".
I have over 15 years experience in the restaurant industry, fast food and otherwise, and NEVER have I ever seen a restaurant be willing to fix the mistakes of another location as policy.
She was adamant that it's how it should be, and as she kept going on I realized she's exactly the kind of person that would scream at a worker over ketchup or something. I do NOT like or respect people who treat service workers poorly...
I'm grateful to not have to spend lots of time with her, and I'll be civil during hangouts for the sake of my husband and his buddy. I'm grateful for the space to vent here, my flabbers are still ghasted but I didn't want to talk my husband's ear off about it!
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
He’s going to marry a woman crazy like his mom.
She’s getting this policy mixed up with retail big-box stores. It’s not a restaurant policy I’ve ever known of. If it is, it’s news to me.
Ding ding ding, we have a correct answer.
put_it_in_a_jar (OP)
Nooooooooooo
She's trying to get in good with his mom, that's why she agrees with her.
I know it's just a vent but, your friend probably talked about you all and so when she met you it may have felt like she knew you already and was comfortable. It's a personality thing as well.
The food thing, meh. I see her reasoning but that doesn't mean it should be done. A fast food isn't like returning an item of clothing from a retail shop but it isn't the end of the world. In conclusion, you should give her another chance. Nobody's perfect.
Yea definitely her being adamant about something she’s misinformed in is definitely a little cringe but when has anyone never been cringe/awkward in a social setting especially when meeting people for the first time.
I’m not saying to force yourself to like her OP but give it a few weeks/ months and give her another try before you completely write her off. Also these other comments calling her stupid/ an idiot come across as extremely judgy like these commenters have never made a social mistake in their life 🙄
Honestly, seems like maybe it's worth doing some self-reflection. "Acting as though she's been in the picture for years and we were the newcomers" is shorthand for your ego being bruised. You should probably do some more work to figure out why you are upset, rather than just leave it at blaming her for your discomfort.
"New girlfriend is on mom's side, and was adamant that restaurant franchisees have agreements to fix food made at another store because "it's the same brand"" - this isn't an unreasonable assumption, and you having fifteen years of experience in the industry makes you a subject matter expert, but does not make her an jerk for not having your experience.
At the very least it doesn't make sense to denigrate her for that position; would you also lambast someone who thinks restaurants should stop outsourcing wages to customers via the pretense of gratuities?
"I realized she's exactly the kind of person that would scream at a worker over ketchup or something. I do NOT like or respect people who treat service workers poorly" ... except, she didn't. You made an assumption about her because you already dislike her and are now judging her, and treating her, like she did the thing you fictionally attached to her.
You don't have to do anything different - you're the boss of you - but for what it's worth there's decent evidence in your narrative that the problem here is in your own schema, and if you continue down this path then the distance that inevitably comes between your couple and theirs will be at least to some meaningful degree your fault.
You just met her for the first time. FFS. Chill.
Nothing you've talked about in this post is making this person sound as horrible as you are claiming she is, you honestly are just sounding really judgmental. As for the fast food issue, seems like she's just misinformed, which I don't see how that makes her a horrible person.
If her experience is from somewhere like Starbucks, where they absolutely will remake drinks originally made at another location (and this happens pretty often tbh), I could see how she might not realize that other restaurants don't necessarily operate the same way.
Not to mention, she's not even the one who went to another restaurant for a remake, yet you're immediately jumping to conclusions that she screams at service workers.