'I suspect my GF has been trying to get me fired by leaving fake bad reviews. Help.' UPDATED 2X

"I think my girlfriend has been trying to get my fired from all my jobs. I'm shaken. Please help me."

I'm M24, and I've been with GF (F29), let's call her Janice, for 2 and a half years. I just finished my education when we started dating and I have been doing all sorts of jobs since. Sometimes two at a time. I did this to expand my resume and gather job experience.

I worked in cafés, bookstores, a library, a grocery store and as an English tutor. Most of those jobs lasted about 3 to 5 months. My shortest stay was 2 and a half weeks, my longest 8 months, but since I didn't have a hard time applying for new positions, I tried to block it out, though it was kind of eating me up internally.

People called to complain about me, people left bad reviews about me, people used my employee wifi access to look up sketchy things on the internet under my name, former 'employees' called to 'inform' them about me, right name and all, and much much more subtle stuff that I couldn't disprove.

But I was too anxious to do anything about it. I just told my girlfriend, she comforted me, she supported me every time I got my life ruined by these people. But I kept going, though they kept finding me.

Fast forward to this week. I currently hold a part-time position at a bakery, I've been working there for two months and a half. It's going okay, but my manager approached me about something regarding our google reviews.

Someone was complaining about an employee, and their description of them could only really fit me. It was on a day where we're pretty short of staff, so I could've been the only person in the store on that day for all I know. Anyway, their review contained some pretty elaborate and nasty comments about me. This has happened on one or two of my jobs already.

I told my manager that it was all pretty bogus and that someone had a vendetta against me, as it has happened before. She believed me, and told me that she'll dismiss the comment. On my break, I checked out the review myself.

Their username was kinda stupid, I'm not gonna type it out here since I still work there, but I'll just call them "Mick Myrtle" as it was in the same range of sounds-kinda-fake-but-not-really. Anyway, I come home but don't tell Janice about it. She has heard it all before, so I didn't see the point in complaining about another time I almost lost my position.

We chat, all is well, and she leaves the room. Her phone is on the table, and suddenly, she get's a notification or an email of some sort from google. I don't remember what it said exactly, but the popup read something along the lines of "Mick Myrtle: 'Manager' has responded to your Review!"

My heart dropped. I've been trying to ignore it since. this was two days ago. It just fit in the picture of bad reviews. It fit in the picture of the phoned complains my workplaces have received about me in the past. It fits in the picture of all the sketchy things I've been fired for.

Why would she do that, though? I'm looking for an explanation. This literally can't be. She's the only thing keeping me sane. I don't know what to do.

Commenters are weighing in to offer their advice.

[deleted] said:

Please for the love of god do not stay with that woman. She is sick. Who the hell does that to someone they love?

txlexxie said:

This is extreme manipulation and abuse! I feel sick to my stomach thinking about you having gone through this for YEARS, losing job after job and being devastated and confused. The worst is you confiding in her and her knowing exactly what she did to you!! I really don’t understand how anyone can do this to someone they “love”. Please OP for your sake you need to leave this relationship

And [deleted] said:

I read all the other posts and would advice you to:

- get evidence against (private detective?) her so you can sue her at an appropriate time for loss of income, defamation, etc.

- Inform your manager about this. When they get complaints by phone have them record the conversation, take down the time and phone number, etc.

- install monitoring software on your laptop, to secretly log who uses your laptop (Webcam) and what they do/post.

- Get legal advice and tell them that the abusive behavior is still on going and you are in the rocess of getting evidence.

- Buy a second phone and store it outside the house. Use this for contact with legal advice, PI and any communication you don't want her to know.

- When you have enough evidence change your passwords and tell her you have been hacked, so you decided to change your passwords and tell her to do the same.

- it depends on you what to eventuality do. If you have enough evidence you can either sue or confront and go to therapy together.

Verdict: Dump her!

Nearly a year after OP's original post, he shared this update:

Hello people who are still invested. I'm sorry for not updating you guys earlier, a lot has been going on. First of all: yes, we broke up. That's why I'll be referring to her as my ex from now on.

Anyway, let's start from the beginning. on the Monday of the following week I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore. I told my ex I needed her booking account to book a train ticket to visit my dad for a few days. She complied, and when she was in the shower getting ready for work, I booked my ticket and started looking through her emails.

After some digging, I found an email to herself which contained a spreadsheet file. I sent the file to myself, printer it out and took a screenshot. Why? The spreadsheet contained about every single information about me that there was. Numbers, emails, passwords, work times, colleagues, their numbers & social medias, as well as some emails and passwords that she used for accounts to ruin my life with.

Everything was on there, conveniently sorted for her to ruin my life as efficiently as possible. When she left for work, I decided it would be best to immediately pack my stuff. Nothing that mattered would be left behind. I felt like a wanted man. Like I was being hunted despite nothing being seemingly out of place.

I called my boss, told her I would be taking some time off from work, and headed out to see my dad. Needless to say he was the sanity I needed. I cried about everything I saw, I panicked for a whole two days straight, about how my life was ruined and I didn't know what to do. He had to sleep on the couch in the guest room because I was so scared of my ex coming in.

He handled it like a champ, I love you dad. He called the police, a lawyer and most recently a therapist for me, because I was in the most horrible state of my entire life. We're currently sorting out the legal stuff, I haven't talked to my ex, except for letting her know it was over and that she's a sick psychopath. My dad handled the rest. I changed all my passwords and I'm now looking for a place to live.

Sorry for the brief update, my mind is tangled. Please ask questions if you wanna know more.

Edit; by the way, thank you to every single person who gave me advice, talked to me over DMs, and was generally concerned about me. I appreciate every single one of you.

And then, two years later, he shared this final, follow-up post:

TL;DR: We ended up not taking her to court over it. This is quite controversial, considering the abhorrent things she's done to me, but I do not regret this decision. The satisfaction of seeing her get punished would've been overshadowed by the sheer amount of dread, anxiety and fear I would've faced in those court hearings. I was a nervous mess, I couldn't eat for weeks without throwing up.

My dad had to settle most of the important stuff because I physically couldn't. Thank you dad. On the bright side, our lawyers settled the situation beautifully in private and I haven't had any problems with her since (that I am aware of) I've moved houses, got a stable job and found the closure and justice I was looking for through therapy. (I hope she did as well.)

We've had 0 contact since then and I still haven't read any of the messages she sent me those years ago. Of course I'm nowhere near done with my journey, I still have all of my social media accounts set to private and insist on keeping a low profile online. I still get anxiety, especially when there's problems at work. But I haven't had any panic attacks in months and my therapist has been great.

I don't know how she's doing - I don't know if she's moved on, or if she's seen this story float around the web (Hello YouTube, TikTok and Snapchat). I don't know how much she knows about how my life is currently going, but nothing's happened since then that I could attribute to her schemes.

Sorry if this update is kinda of a jumbled mess, I just woke up and I've repressed a lot of what happened. Thank you all for your kind messages. Cheers