My fiancee(29) and I(31M) just found out that we’re pregnant. My fiancée mentioned that she wanted to wait to announce it at her cousin’s wedding which will be taking place on Sunday. Her cousin and her husband has been struggling getting pregnant even with IVF or the tons of others.
Recently they just got some news that their insurance has stopped funding IVF and not to mention the heartbreak of a recent miscarriage on Mothers Day. They almost understandably held off on the wedding.
So when my fiancée brought it up to me, I told her it’s not at all a good idea. This just seemed so wrong, especially it being at their wedding. I asked, if she was gonna at least ask her cousin for permission and she said, no because she wanted it to be a surprise for everyone.
I told her it’s not the time nor the place for that and it would take the spotlight off the couple(in her family there hasn’t been a baby in 3 years so we’d be the first in that time).
Fiancée feels that’s the perfect time because it’s such a joy and it’s not like she can keep it away forever and their problems shouldn’t keep her from telling something so positive, so it's on them if they turn it negative.
I told her that’s not the point, she knows what they’ve been through and she’s being selfish if she actually goes through with that. She cried and claimed I wasn’t being supportive and I shouldn’t be calling my pregnant fiancee selfish.
She doesn’t want me to come with her to the wedding anymore either, feeling as if I would ‘kill the mood’. She hasn’t been talking to me either.
NTA. Your fiancé has a bad case of main character syndrome.
To the point of actually being unimaginably cruel. OP, this is pretty concerning.
If I was OP I would highly consider warning the cousin but that could definitely cause marriage problems. Or spoiling the surprise ahead of time so she couldn’t do it on the wedding day. NTA.
I came to say EXACTLY THIS. And honestly OP, i know she's pregnant but you really should think long and hard about marrying a woman who would do this. I'm sorry to say this but only narcissistic people would pull this crap at someone's wedding, much less one where the bride had a recent miscarriage.
There are four things you NEVER EVER do at a wedding without express approval from bride and groom: wear white, propose, come out, or announce a pregnancy. Your fiance wants to take the limelight away from her cousin and that is awful. Good luck NTA AND Do not let her ruin that wedding.
NTA. Are you sure you want to marry this person? She seems to have zero self awareness, and when you didn't leap to three cheers for her stupid idea, she doesn't want you there because you'll kill the mood? She definitely loves herself above everyone else including you.