Woman thinks BF is cheating after he changes her pet name and won't explain. AITA?
"AITA for changing my GF's pet name and refusing to explain why?"
So I've (46M) been with my gf (42F) for a little over 3 years. From the beginning I'd always call her "babe" and vice versa. I never truly liked that nickname as it was the nickname that my ex wife and I would use with eachother too. But that's not why I changed it.
A bit of backstory here. I'm a decent looking guy, good man with morals definitely with a woman I am madly in love with. How I landed her is beyond my imagination. She is beautiful, sexy, outgoing, bubbly and everyone loves her. Me on the other hand have always suffered from social anxiety and feel like I'm not worthy of her.
This past summer I did a lot of soul searching. I wrote down dozens of things I did not like about myself. The way I spoke was one of them. I think there's a level of confidence in the way one addresses someone. Raising two young boys I fell in the habit of using the word "buddy" a lot while addressing other guys. "What's going on buddy" looking back sounds weak. So now everyone is "bro" I've done pretty well transitioning to "bro" and I'm satisfied with that subtle change.
Back to my gf.... the word "babe" to me In my eyes was on participating with the word "buddy" so I thought I could subtly change it to "baby" lol. I began to slowly use the word "baby" in text, whispered in her ear while in bed "baby I love you" while simultaneously dropping the word "babe" all together. I mostly used her name and threw in a "baby" here and there.
Fast forward to Friday and she confronted me on the new name. Asking me where I got that from, who's calling me that and who im calling that too. Basically accusing me of cheating. I proceeded to explain I'm not cheating, there's a reason for my madness but don't want to go into detail about my insecurities in life with her.
So u simply said you need to trust me that I didn't change it because of any outside influence. She's not satisfied with my response and demands I tell her the truth by Tuesday morning.
AITA for changing my gfs pet name and not wanting her to fully understand what a person with social anxiety battles in their minds on a daily basis? The last thing any man wants to appear is weak in the eyes of their woman.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Don N.
Dude if your with her 3 years, she clearly can pick up on some of your insecurities. Just tell her this one...
Rachel M.
Get therapy, Friend
Nick J.
I’d sit down and tell her. It’s not weak to share your feelings and concerns - quite the opposite. If you feel you can trust her then open up. Life may be a lot happier if you do. Good luck
Apryl R.
Yta instead of being honest you're giving her a reason to let her insecurities make her feel bad
Kyle S.
Nta but your insecurities are going to cost you this relationship. Have an honest conversation, you're allowed to be VULNERABLE (not weak) with someone you love
Tiffany E.
If you didn’t tell us your age I would ask if you guys are 12
Charis S.
NTA but you’re making yourself look like one to your GF. If my man did this and then refused to give me an explanation I’d immediately think he was up to something g shady too . just give her an explanation dude
Apryl R.
Buddy is way better than Bro
Daisy R.
and Babe is much better than baby
Jess I.
It’s the “I’m not going into details, but you just need to trust me” is what would irritate me.
Kari C.
Same... I immediately don't want to trust anyone who feels they need to say "Trust Me" lol
Anne-Marie O.
he prob said “trust me bro”
Sam H.
Dude. It’s not that serious just tell her . YTA but she’s also very odd thinking a nickname change means cheating.