It doesn't matter how much you love your partner, they're likely to have little flaws that get on your nerves (and yes, this always goes both ways). When it comes to the petty annoyances, there's always a choice between letting go and saying something. Realistically, over the course of a long time, you're going to need to let some things go.
At the same time, if the way they chew or do impressions makes you feel full of rage, it might be best to say something so you don't form a petty resentment they're unaware of.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for not stepping in when a random man yelled at his GF for blocking the door. He wrote:
I am a 26-year-old man and I live with my 24-year-old girlfriend, Sam. We've been cohabitating for eight months now and generally have a happy relationship. I suppose if I had to say I disliked one thing about Sam, it's that the ways she expresses her anger are incredibly juvenile.
For example, if we're outside together and something ticks her off, sometimes she'll start rushing around nearly crashing into other people. Sometimes she'll do the opposite where she'll walk incredibly slowly (think Tom Tucker from that Family Guy scene), or sometimes she'll just stop dead in her tracks and refuse to move like a 3-year-old.
Last Thursday, we went to the grocery store together to get something for dinner. As we were walking around Sam a pair of microwave dinners that she thought looked nice. I knew going into the conversation that she was likely to get upset, but every time I eat microwave dinners, I get an upset stomach.
Since I had an in-person job interview the next day I really didn't want to deal with abdominal cramps during the process. I explained this to her and gave her some other options. For example, I suggested I could make the Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes and do a bang up job at it seeing as I'm a pretty decent cook. She said no. She wanted those microwave dinners.
So I tried another way: she could get the microwave dinner. I'd get something else. Again, no. She wanted to eat the same thing as me. Finally I just walked away because I couldn't reason with her. She followed me with the two dinners in hand. Instead of going to the checkout with her I waited by the door. I had decided at this point that I just wasn't going to have dinner.
Sam walked up to the door, pulled out her phone, and froze. People could not enter or leave the grocery store. As she went full press conference Mitch McConnell staring at her phone in the doorway, I just kind of watched as a short line queued behind her. Finally a rather large fellow lost his patience and squeezed past her, followed by yelling expletives at her about not blocking doors.
During his 10-second tirade, Sam looked at me multiple times. I just shrugged in response. Finally Sam walked out and loudly asked why I didn't stand up for her. I responded that she brought it upon herself. As she argued at me, a few people gave us curious glances and I believe a middle-aged woman shook her head at me. What she meant by that, I do not know.
Sam has barely said two words to me since. I've tried talking to her but she demands an apology. Is she really deserving of one here?
crypteak wrote:
NTA. Not to be rude to your gf or anything, but what a f@#$ing child. What grown woman throws a tantrum like that? You said that you would like something else to eat not just because you didn't want it, but you have a job interview the next day, and pre-made meals upset your stomach. Does she have the mind of a child? What is so hard to understand about that?
Because your opinion of not wanting that, and suggesting something else is VERY valid. She could have had one thing, and you have another but she needed the same as you? Has this woman never been told no in her entire life? By her parents? Teachers? Nobody? Then she throws a fit by inconveniencing other people and thus making it seem like you HAVE to say yes to these microwave meals, for her to stop?
That is something I'd see my friend's 2-year-old child doing. This woman needs to grow up and act like an adult. Reading this actually pissed me off XD Not the AH AT ALL.
5p1n5t3rr1f1c wrote:
NTA. She does not deserve an apology and I'd really think hard about whether you want to be dealing with her juvenile tantrums for the rest of your life.
Hummelzz wrote:
NTA. She is absolutely awful! I cannot even fathom why she thinks she can control what you can eat. And that isn't even the worst thing she did. She deliberately inconvenienced dozens of innocent people (you were innocent too FYI) just because she was annoyed.
Then, when things got slightly physical because she instigated it, she expected you to risk your life defending her honour. Drop her like the utter waste she is. Let her ruin some other guy's life instead of yours.
Rare-lexa wrote:
NTA.
The world does not revolve around your girlfriend. She needs to grow up, and you need to stand up for yourself.
Blocking an entrance to a public place is extremely rude.
Throwing a temper tantrum is extremely childish.
Her dictating what you can and can't eat is extremely controlling.
Sounds like you should reevaluate if this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. JMO.
OP is definitely NTA here, if anything, this is a confirmation he needs to get far away from his GF.