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Man humiliated when wife gives him anniversary gift that insults his 'erotic performance.' UDPATED 2X

Man humiliated when wife gives him anniversary gift that insults his 'erotic performance.' UDPATED 2X

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When this man is upset with his wife for humiliating him with a weird anniversary present, he asks Reddit:

"AITA for being annoyed that wife's gift for our anniversay insulted our erotic relationship?"

So my wife (32F) and I (33M) had our 3 year wedding anniversary last week, I got her jewellery, flowers and arranged a nice day out for us including dinner, we have a 2 year old who her parents looked after for us that day.

We exchanged gifts just after her parents had taken our 2year old out, she loved my presents, however her presents to me where very odd, one was a key ring saying something like to my husband etc, the other was a 5" rubber dildo...

I think she could tell by that look on my face that I was not very impressed, but I tried to not let it ruin the day I had planned, however I did ask her why she got the dildo and she said it's an "us" present that we can use together. Humiliating.

I'm just shocked tbh, our se% life is pretty good, I like to make sure she was has at least two orgasm's every time, and plenty of foreplay, kissing cuddles etc.

I just feel like I don't really understand what the "us" present part about a dildo is? So I would like to ask am I wrong for feeling crappy about this? I feel so insulted.

Let's see how readers reacted.

prestigiousad7 writes:

No, you're not wrong. I don't want to assume your wife had bad intentions, but that was NOT a very considerate "gift." As a woman, I would be very surprised and hurt by the gender-reversed scenario.

My hope is that she really enjoys se% with you (sounds like you make it awesome for her!) and just wanted to add some variety. However, a dildo is something she should've talked with you about before buying one for y'all to use... and especially framed as a gift for you!

All in all, I don't think she meant to hurt you, but it's 100% valid that you were taken aback. Would you feel comfortable talking to her about it and telling her how it made you feel?

MW204 writes:

Ok. YTA. In marriage, this is an unlocked achievement. A good one. Mind you, sure it’s definitely more for her. But use the eff out of that dildo and make her O to the moon.

Yeah, maybe it’s a hint you aren’t doing your part. Better than her finding someone else . SHE WANTS BETTER SE% WITH YOU! Get on it and shelve your hurt pride. She deserves sexual satisfaction.

worndown7 writes:

Nah. Next anniversary get one of those sex dolls so yall can have a threesome. Seriously though has she talked at all about your se% life? Or is your wife one of those people who avoids conflict at all costs and this is her way of communicating? Some people, both men and women, struggle with telling their partner what they really like.

Sometimes that's on the partner. Other times that just something the person has difficulty with. It's ok to be annoyed, but have a good honest talk with your wife and you guys can probably sort this out as a miscommunication.

smontgo writes:

Yeah. YTA here! Don’t take it so personally, toys in the bedroom are fun. Seems like you might be taking it personally as a sign that you think she doesn’t think you’re enough, but it’s probably just a sign she wanted to explore and try new things.

Maybe have a honest talk with her about it and be open minded. At least it wasn’t a strap on, and at least it wasn’t a giant toy that would make you self conscious.

I think you’re wrong for being upset. My wife and I buy toys for her all the time to use together, so maybe I’m just used to the idea.

alertberry7 writes:

No, you’re not wrong. That is weird AF. I only question where you say you make sure your wife has at least two orgasms. I don’t think there should be any type of hard and fast rule about orgasms.

Lovemaking should be organic. Maybe your wife is faking the orgasms, because she knows you expect her to have at least two. Maybe she is trying to tell you something with the dildo (but certainly went about it in a horrible way).

I think at the very least, it’s time to have an honest conversation about your se% life.

OP adds this first update:

I am definitely all in for spicing things up, however I think it was more because it was out of the blue, no discussion about it or anything...

If it were something that we had talked about prior, then yes I could be onboard with it, however not as an anniversary present, I just felt like there was no actual thought into it, maybe she forgot and that was a last minute purchase?

I guess we just need to have a good honest conversation about this and each get the others view points.

OP provides a second update:

There have been a lot of really good comments on here, and I think everyone for sharing.

Thank you, we do talk about our se% life, not often however, but mostly when we do, there has never been any mention of adding se% toys etc, and she's never said there was anything missing only different positions etc. But I do agree that a good honest conversation is needed for both of us.

I'm all for spicing things up in the bedroom, however there were never any conversations about that or anything, this was just out of that blue.

So, is OP TA here? Did he overreact or was he right to feel humiliated?

Sources: Reddit
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