'AITA for telling my sister-in-law that she didn't actually run a marathon?'
"AITA for telling my sister-in-law that she didn't actually run a marathon?"
I've been a runner for as long as I can remember, I absolutely love it. I want running to continue growing as a competitive activity and as a just-for-fun hobby. I encourage and support newcomers to running, but recently I encountered a situation where I felt gate-keeping was necessary.
My sister-in-law got into running last year, and she absolutely fell in-love with it as well. Since I am also a runner, I decided I could connect with her on the topic. I wanted to hear about her runs, her progress, and maybe offer some helpful guidance if she wanted it. So, at a family gathering I ask her about running.
After a bit of conversation, she mentioned to me that she ran a marathon. I was quite surprised, she ran a marathon after only getting into running a year ago. That is amazing, what incredible dedication and drive (I thought to myself). I was about to praise her for this incredible accomplishment, but then she explain this 'marathon' in detail.
It was a virtual marathon that she started late last year and apparently completed this year. Basically it was an app based event where you tally up your running distances until you reach 42.2km (26.2 miles). I chuckled slightly and told her that its great she totaled 42.2km in that time-frame, but it doesn't count as a marathon.
I told her that a marathons have time limits for completion, usually 6 to 8 hours. If they didn't, then I could claim multiple ultra-marathons via the aggregate distances I ran in my life. Its disingenuous and in my opinion, undermines those who have actually ran a marathon.
She didn't take this well, she called me an asshole, a bully, an elitist, and a few other things. I apologized for upsetting her, but I stand by what I said, she didn't run a marathon. I didn't press the subject at all and left it at that, she wouldn't speak to me the rest of the gathering.
My wife agrees with me, despite not being a runner herself, she said her sister overreacted. Their mother said that I should have just let my sister-in-law believe that she ran a marathon. Maybe, I don't know....she is 23 years old, without any impairments. Validating her 'marathon' would feel similar to lying to a child to boost their confidence. The difference is, she is not a child. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
bansheeonmoon writes:
YTA. You can be technically correct and still be an asshole. You laughed at her and then told her what a marathon was after she clarified that it was a 'virtual' marathon, which, just by the fact she had to qualify it with the word 'virtual,' already implies she knows she didn't run a 'real' marathon and was simply just proud of herself for the achievement.
Now, you could have just let her enjoy her win and told her 'that great!' Knowing that, if she keeps running, she will learn the error of her ways naturally, but no. You had to make a thing of it so that you could feel better about yourself for protecting what? The sanctity of the sport of running?
Or was it to protect your ego? I'm sure when you originally thought she ran an official marathon after only a year, you felt a little jealous of her achievement, and you must have felt wonderful getting to pop her bubble while at the same time getting back at her for (what I'm assuming you took to be)
her stupidity that made you doubt yourself. You could have kind, but you chose not to be, and THAT is what makes you TA...
pineapplepredator writes:
This is NTA all the way! I’m stunned at these Y T A responses. You were simply correcting her. It’s completely acceptable, expected even, for someone experienced in a sport or hobby to explain the parlance to beginners.
What she did is nothing close to running a marathon. And claiming that she ran a marathon diminishes the accomplishment of everyone who actually has run one. It would be like if I claimed to have climbed Mount Everest just because I climbed 30k in elevation over a hundred hikes this year.
Ridiculous. And any such claim, made to an actual mountain climber, should be immediately (and politely) corrected. Your motivation was not to tear her down or ridicule her.
It was to simply correct the misunderstanding of a beginner in your sport. Completely the right thing to do, as agreeing with her would have even been a bit dishonest. She simply overreacted.