One man had been dating his girlfriend for a year and wanted her to meet his daughter. When they did meet, they admittedly did not hit it off, but he thought it was important for them to get along. He told his girlfriend they were a packaged deal from the beginning. What she found out, is that the girl was family, but he was not her bio dad. She was angry about putting time and effort into a child she didn't like what she wasn't 'his.' This was a huge red flag for him but his girlfriend felt like he had tricked her.
My brother passed away 5 years ago. He has a daughter who was 9 at the time. Let's call her Nora.
My other brother became Nora's legal guardian but she ended up living with me most of the time and we got closer. She is like a daughter to me and even though I'm not her legal guardian everyone in our family has accepted me as her dad.
I started dating my gf about a year ago and told her that I have a daughter. I didn't go into details that she is not mine I just wanted her to know that Nora and I are a package deal.
I introduced her to Nora about 4 months ago and they do NOT get along. Nora is not an easy kid to get along with and my gf lacks patience.
A few days ago she found out that Nora is actually not mine and freaked out. She called me an a**hole for lying to her and forcing her to tolerate and spend time with 'that annoying kid who isn't even mine.' I told her that Nora is mine and kicked her out of my home for insulting my child in my home.
I have been getting texts from her friends who all think I'm an a**hole.
NTA. Biological father or not, legal guardian or not, you are responsible for Nora and it's part of your job to advocate for her, which is exactly what you were doing. You owe no one an explanation of the true nature of your relationship with Nora.
NTA. OP needs to drop the GF and keep the kid.
ESH. It's a beautiful thing you did taking in your niece, and fair play to you for considering her your own daughter. But you've been with your girlfriend for a year and never told her the truth about it. You can be upfront about the situation whilst still being firm that she's part of the deal and not going anywhere.
It's possible your girlfriend felt a blindsided and deceived and reacted out of that. However ultimately if she's not willing to accept Nora then the two of you aren't compatible.
No, you are NTA. Biology doesn’t make a parent. You told her you are a package deal in the beginning and then proved it to her. No argument needed.
NTA. The context being that if she'd known the whole time that Nora wasn't biologically yours, she wouldn't have been trying to get along with her, is all you need to know.
This. OP is NTA but I would take notes from the experience and maybe come clean at a certain point of the relationship about Nora's story, since it seems that losing a brother and becoming a dad is such an important thing to share in a nurturing relationship.
However OP did not have the moral obligation to share this and his GF's reaction seems to explain why OP didn't.