When this man is concerned about sharing property with his wife, he asks Reddit:
I love my wife very much ur we are from two different cultures. In hers, if a person needs something that you have, you give it to them. I mine if you need something you get a job, get paid, and buy what you need.
While I earn most of our income, my wife runs a dayhome, takes care of our kids, and the house. We take our money and pay our bills, put some away for emergencies, our retirement, kids education, etc. We also keep an account for traveling to visit her family or paying for her mom and dad to visit us.
My wife has given away a bunch of my stuff because her family needed it. She gave my trekking backpack to one of her cousins because he needed a backpack. She could have bought him a $30 Costco backpack instead of giving away my $400 backpack, which he promptly got stolen.
The last straw was my laptop. I was away for the weekend at a friend's wedding that she did not want to attend. Her auntie was visiting and said that my wife's brother needed a computer for schoolwork. Since all I ever did was play games on it she gave it to her brother for university.
I tried to get it back. She said it would be rude. I explained that the only reason all she saw me do with it was "play games" that was because I was home. When I leave in the morning and take it with me it is to go earn money doing a job I am paid for.
She said I didn't have to talk to her like she is dumb. But she refused to ask for it back. I replaced it with money from the travel fund. Which means that we will not be seeing her parents this Christmas.
She is pissed. She said that I took money that belonged to both of us to buy myself something. I asked her here the money should come from. Should I take it out of our retirement? Our kids education? Does she want to out off replacing the furnace with winter almost here. I said I could cancel that if she wanted.
She said that I could have just put it on the credit card. I asked her to explain where the money to PAY the credit card would come from. She thinks I'm treating her like an idiot. I think she needs to stop giving my things away. AITA?
NTA It's easy to be generous when you are giving away stuff that isn't yours. But as soon as it affects her suddenly its a big deal?
I would be spitting blood if someone gave away my computer! Aside from the value and inconvenience what about the lost data, files, photos? The stored financial data? Stored passwords? I'd have driven round there and demanded it back!
NTA Your wife needs to stop giving away your things to family and friends. If she wants to give her stuff away, fine and fair, but she has no business being "generous" with other people's belongings.
She created this problem, she can fix it by stopping what she's doing. Until then, you will continue to replace these items that go missing by her hand thru the only discretionary spending account you have.
NTA - that may be a sign she is trying to leech off of your stuff and take your patience for granted. I would be PISSED if someone did this to me without telling me first. I don’t even know what culture this would be okay in.