'AITA for telling my roommate that either his pregnant GF stops whining or he moves out?'

"AITA for telling my roommate that either his pregnant girlfriend stops whining or he moves out?"

Big_Possibility5712

I (m28) live in an apartment that I got from my uncle. The apartment has two bedrooms so as I don't need the extra space I rented the room. My roommate (m24) has been living with me for a little over a year and half.

He's been dating his girlfriend (f24 as well I believe?) For like five or so years, she lives in another house and has four roommates herself.

As her house is more crowded, my roommate asked me if it was okay if she stayed over sometimes, I agreed since i don't really have a problem with it at all, as long as they're respectful.

We haven't had any major issues until now. But his girlfriend got pregnant, he told me and I was like "oh, great, congratulations", he did try to bring up a conversation to see if I allowed her to move in with him/ us but I said no.

I work from home most of the time, I don't want to deal with a third person or a newborn in the future. He asked me if she could still come and stay some nights as before and I said that was fine.

She's like four or so months along her pregnancy. Well, these last three months she has grown to be very annoying whenever she's staying over. What I mean is that I got woken up in the middle of the night/ early morning too many times because she's running to the bathroom at the end of the hallway.

I don't use that bathroom (I have my own connected to my room) but my guests sometimes use it and they have said that it's dirty and messy. She's staying over a lot more nights than she used to before.

And the biggest problem is that she has developed really bad nausea, even now she's still having morning sickness which I believe they must've stopped already. We've many issues regarding food, because my roommate and her asked me to stop having some foods that get her sick.

I told her that this is not her house, she has no right to come and expect me to change my diet because of her.

They took that very badly. I continued my life as normally, she always complains and runs to the bathroom when I cook, there have been a couple times when she has actually thrown up on the floor too, which is disgusting.

I'm sick of it to be honest, so I told my roommate that either she stops coming over, she stops complaining, or he moves out. I would give him a month or two if he needs it to find somewhere else to live, but I'm tired of having his girlfriend over. She's annoying me.

He of course got very upset and said that she wouldn't annoy me so much if I was more understanding of her condition. Said that they're not in a comfortable position to move, that she's sick and needs his support, and all of that.

Some of my friends/ coworkers and family are on my side but some others said that I'm behaving like a total AH and I could easily change my diet for a couple months. AITA?

Edit: y'all are right, I need to evict him. It sucks because even though we're not friends he was a good roommate and all, but it's too risky to have him here when the baby is born. Hopefully they can find somewhere else to live. I'll try to have the conversation with him today.

Here's how commenters reacted — think this is what he wanted to hear?

Usrname52

Consult a lawyer. There are definitely protections in place regarding housing discrimination for having a child. It's his child, this can be the baby's primary residence. Even if she doesn't move in. Find out your rights, sooner rather than later, regarding not re-signing his lease or whatever. And if it would be easier before the baby.

OP:

Actually one of my colleagues also told me this, so I'm trying to find a lawyer already for all the legal information I might need. I'm mostly struggling with the moral side of this whole issue

Fuzzy_mic

You had my sympathy until you described her vomiting and peeing as "complaining". But even with that, your frustration at the physical fall-outs of pregnancy is understandable.

Let me circle back for a touch and comment that she really does need to pee, and she is nauseous (even if she's in that month of pregnancy) and the smell of your food is really obnoxious to her. She's not being willful or selfish, she's being pregnant.

You didn't pick her as a roommate, you didn't get her pregnant. And these inconveniences are imposed on you without any input from you. Entirely understandable.

Of your options,

-she doesn't come around doesn't sound realistic,

- the peeing, barfing and being effected by odors isn't going to stop until birth. (or you shouldn't bet on it.) Let it be a life lesson. Think of it as a lesson in loving condoms in your lifestyle.

- roommate moves out needs to happen. If roommate stays, your home will be visited frequently by mom and infant and that won't work for anyone.

A key question would be "where is she going right after the hospital" and you should make sure that isn't your place. The couple of months that you are willing to give them is right about the correct timeline.

NTA for not wanting to live the life of a pregnant partner. But it sounds like you may be TA in the way you are getting from here to there.

OP

I'm not saying she's being selfish by vomiting or that she's faking it, not at all. What I'm saying is that she doesn't live here, she doesn't need to be here, so if the smell of my food triggers her then she should stay at her own house.

And about the bathroom thing is that she's, I don't know, running? To the bathroom. She stomps on the floor and closes the doors very hard, she's making a lot of unnecessary noise when it's late at night.

Nosdarb

Turns out, pregnancy hormones screw with every part of your locomotion. They loosen all your ligaments, your hip bones get reshaped, your abs get torn down the center, and some jerk takes up residence in your lungs and kicks all your organs.

Trust me, she doesn't want to be stomping around any more that you want her to be. Pregnancy just comes with mobility challenges.

Discount_Mithral

NTA. She doesn't live there, and you've made it clear you don't want an infant in the house since you work from home. While I do agree you might be a little more accommodating while she's there, your roommate and his GF need to move into their own space to prepare for a baby.

They made a choice to get pregnant and stay pregnant, so they need to adult up and prepare for bringing another life into this world they will need to support.

I was going to say E S H until she threw up on the floor multiple times. That's nasty. While I know you can't control morning sickness, she should be able to make it to a bathroom/sink/garbage can to throw up.

Myhairsonfire2023

NTA - but you’d better evict him now.

If you wait until the baby is born, what if he elects to have the child live with him? You can’t forbid that without violating fair housing laws.

Evict him NOW so that’s not an issue. Or… roll the dice & take your chances - but then be ready to take what’s coming to you.

Squiggles567

NTA. You’re prolonging the inevitable. A newborn is even more annoying. Just give your roommate notice to move out.

There is no excuse for bathrooms being left dirty or for her to expect you to change your diet.

Amenhoteptutankhamun

Girlfriend isn't paying rent, she's not your tenant. I'd just terminate the lease to avoid further trouble. NTA

Correct-Jump8273

NTA, her pregnancy has nothing to do with you. Your quality of like should stay the same. If they can't afford an apartment, then what will happen when the child comes? She's going to try to move in. Better to get him out of the house before the baby arrives. Edit, spelling

Narkareth

In renting the room, you agreed to be a landlord; not a part of these people's support network.

It would be one thing if she was living there, as it would be more than AH to take on a female tenant and then punish her for a pregnancy; but that's not what's happening here. She has a place to live, she's not getting evicted.

Further, you're absolutely going to end up with a kid in your house. Think about what the roommate said: "They're not in a comfortable position to move."

"They're?" What "they're? They're not currently living together, and you're not asking them to move. You're asking him to move (presuming other conditions aren't met). That ask won't affect her at all.

Katherine610

Yeah, the room it is slowly trying to move the girlfriend in . Like where she is going straight after the hospital . Is it going to be there, and then the room mate will say he can't leave her on her own she just had a baby . Best they leave now before it becomes more of a problem.

Check back for updates — we have a feeling this isn't the end of the story.