Man 'REALLY DOESN'T' want to spend time with pregnant wife. AITA?
When this man is annoyed with his pregnant wife, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for not wanting to spend time with my pregnant wife?"
As context my wife (24f) who I’ll call C and I (24m) are expecting in December. We’re also moving in 2 days.
C’s always had some issues with codependency because of some childhood traumas, I don’t normally hold it against her it’s not her fault but I feel I’m not free to do things.
We both work from home and spend basically all our time together. C is jealous of her time with me which I don’t mind normally but I grew up without independence and cherish mine now.
I want her to be free to do things, I feel it’s important to get out of the house and whenever she tells me she has plans I get excited and tell her I want her to have fun. On the other hand if I have plans that don’t include her she gets sad about losing our time together.
I only hang out with my friends every few months, generally I won’t see my best man more than once every 3 months. C is in about the same boat, her best friend moved out of state a while back and neither of us has a big friend group so we’re largely all each other have for camaraderie.
But a year ago we joined up with a group of 30ish people who play d&d west marches style with cycling DMs and players. Mostly online, some in person.
I have to work every other saturday in exchange for a weekday off so every 2 weeks we only have 1 day off together. On days I work I don’t have energy to socialize with anyone but C.
I try to keep Sundays on alt weeks clear because the days off together are important to C, but now there’s a quest arc I’m very involved in and they can’t play if I miss. The DM has a busy October and if it’s not the 1st it’s November.
I told C about a session they want to run next Sunday in person and she got sad. When I asked why C said “It’s going to be our first weekend together at our new house and I wanted to spend our day off there with you.”
But we’re moving this weekend and will have been there a week already doing the same nothing we do every day off anyways.
She’s not manipulative just bad at hiding her emotions so I always feel very guilty and offer to cancel or reschedule and normally end up doing so to keep her happy. This time I’m stuck between messing up 6 other peoples plans or doing what C wants me to want to do.
On top of that she said she was worried I wouldn’t prioritize our daughter when she’s here which upset me because all I’ve ever wanted is to be a dad and I’ve always been clear that a healthy family life is my top priority.
I think she just said it because she’s pregnant and hormonal but I feel I cant have me time w/o guilt. AITA for wanting to play d&d instead of spending the day with her?
Let's see what readers thought.
gypsycat25 writes:
I'm gonna say NTA it's not like you don't want to spend time with her, it's that you occasionally also want to spend time with other people and that is perfectly reasonable.
You're about to have the biggest change in your life and from December on for the foreseeable future, things like this might not be possible, so I think it's fair that until then once or twice a month (because of your work schedule) you spend time with your friends.
autononomousla writes:
NTA but you have to tell her that d&d will be the last on your list when you'll have your child. She wants to be sure that she can count on you.