Man says GF is too strict about hygiene, Reddit warns 'No, you're nasty.' Updated
We all skip a shower now and then.
But this is much different. One man took to the forums to get some advice after his girlfriend stopped washing his undergarments for him. He felt she was being unreasonable as his mom had never complained about doing his laundry. As it turns out, this 32-year-old man just needed a good old fashioned internet shaming.
AITA for asking my girlfriend to continue doing my laundry if she wants me to buy groceries.
My gf (28F) and I (32M) have been living together for 4 years now. She works from home most of the time but sometimes does go into the office. I go to my office every day.
My girlfriend has always done our laundry together and never had a problem with it for all these years. Since she works from home, she takes care of a lot of the house work but I do help out where I can when I get back from work. Although she often refuses my offers with reasons like I should wash my hands better. I do wash my hands though.
Lately she has started separating my undergarments and vests from the laundry pile and not washing them when she had no trouble doing that in the past. She said that my undergarments will contaminate her clothes and wants me to do them myself in a separate load.
Yet she still washes hers in the same load. I suggested we do all our undergarments in a different load and she said no because hers are cleaner and that would be worse.
She got pretty mad and made some nasty comments about my hygiene saying I should keep myself cleaner in my privates, not soil myself (I do not) and learn how to wash my hands. I do shower and I do wash my hands but maybe it is natural that men smell more idk.
I am getting pretty annoyed at being treated like I am disgusting when I am not. I lived with my mom before her who did my laundry and never said my boxers were dirty. I said if she keeps doing this, I will stop buying the groceries she keeps telling me to bring on my commute from work and she can do that herself.
Here are the top comments from readers after the initial post:
'I lived with my mom before and she did my laundry'
'I'm hairy there and have streaks in my underwear'
YTA. I literally cannot believe I've found a real live 'men don't wash their ass but want their girlfriend to be their mommy' meme, right before my eyes.
“I’ve never done my own laundry, but YOU must be the problem, no one else has had a problem doing my laundry for me!”
Honestly, even without the gross hygiene, the fact he was 28, living with his parents and still not doing his own laundry is enough for me to say YTA. Absolutely no way a grown man shouldn't be doing his own housework at that age. Wonder if she packed him a lunch box too.
At 32 years old every part of your relationship should not be transactional. For that, YTA. Grow. Up.
Um. It sounds like your undies are nastier than you’re admitting.
YTA Come on. If your crusty underwear is dirty enough to contaminate the outerwear then you have a problem.
Book a doctors appointment to make sure you don't have some random infection, but most likely it is a poor hygiene issue. Your gf is probably sick of getting a UTI every time she has sex with you.
Your mum not saying anything is meaningless in this context. I bet she didn't say anything about your nappies as a baby or your bed sheets and special sock when you hit puberty either.
The OP took these comments to heart and returned 2 months later with a full update:
UPDATE My girlfriend no longer complains about my hygiene.
I would like to thank everyone for giving me a much needed reality check. I spent some time doing some research and you guys and my gf were right and I was definitely lazy, depressed and neglecting my hygiene and my relationship. It brings me to tears when I think about what it must have been like for my gf.
I sat down with my gf and talked to her about it and said that I felt like I needed therapy. We got a brilliant therapist and had some sessions alone and some together and worked through our issues.
I hadn't realized it but in addition to my hygiene, she was also overworked with doing house chores and finding it hard to balance work and house work. My gf agreed to help me clean up and trim my body hair one last time and after that we bought some new shaving equipment and I have since started making sure I don't go back to my old ways.
I also started going to the gym to do a little cardio and weights, nothing too extreme. I also got myself a lot of new clothes as a treat, and changed my style a bit, including shaving off my beard which my gf always wanted me to do.
I feel like a new person and am a lot happier and energetic. Although sometimes it is a bit weird around my friends and coworkers and I feel like it is awkward being the new me and like I lost my identity but I've gotten used to it now.
My gf is so much happier and has a spark to her eyes and I feel like our relationship has been rekindled.
Tomorrow is our last therapy session. I have also started cooking more and trying new recipes on weekends and she loves it. I have signed up for some cooking classes as I discovered I really like cooking.
I still feel really awful for what I did to her and I can't believe how long she put up with it. She said she was very close to ending it. I feel like I truly don't deserve her.
Here are the top comments after this 'thank goodness' update:
Don't think of it as new identity, just a evolved version. It's beautiful thing when people realize their flaws and start improving themselves not only to feel better but to be better for their partner. I applaud you for making a change, that is not as easy as it seems.
I might be the only one to say that you should continue Therapy alone. There is a reason you were depressed all of that is nice but just make sure all other aspects of your life are good too and you know how to manage your emotions. Best of Luck mate.
Wipe your arse and rekindle your relationship. Therapists hate this one simple trick.
I have GOOSEBUMPS for you!!!!!!! YAYAYAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! Growth is hard and messy but so beautiful! So happy for you both!
Oh my gosh. I was literally wondering about you yesterday. This makes me exceedingly happy to hear. I'm pretty sure I came down on you pretty hard. Man. I am so happy for y'all.