Man asks if he was wrong to date siblings; ex organizes 'smear campaign'.
Finding love is tough. Hearts are bound to be broken and mistakes are sure to be made, especially while we are young. Learning to navigate the dating scene is hard, and the rules aren't always clear. One young man took to the forums to ask for advice after recieving serious criticism for keeping his romantic relationships in the family.
crockproctologist pled his case to Reddit:
AITA for dating sisters?
So I (26m) met and dated a girl for 6 months in 2018, we broke up and parted ways not amicably but not terribly either. Summer of 2022, I ran into her younger sister at a bar and one thing lead to another.
We hooked up and dated till October 2022. The whole relationship I got a lot of flak from family, friends and a mentor who means a lot to me. The older sister even attempted a social media 'smear campaign' against me.
I still receive the occasional 'shaming' and it seems that my family and especially my close female friends think I am a scumbag. I know it doesn't sound good on paper, but there was nothing malicious behind me dating the younger sister it just kind of happened.
I should note that the older sister is a year older than me and the younger sister is a year younger than me. Why didn't they get mad at each other?
Reddit users were all too happy to weigh in.
NITAREEDDESIGNS points out that there must be more to the story:
Did younger sister know you had dated her older sister? When you say that your breakup in 2018 was 'not amicable but not terrible', what does that even mean?
For so many of your people (friends, family, mentor, etc) to think negatively of you, there's more to your story that you are not saying...
The OP then gave more info to provide context.
Yes she knew full well and I had no contact with either sister from 2018-2022. I mean we didn't leave the relationship as friends but it wasn't a big messy nasty break up either. It was pretty cut and dry neither of the relationships were toxic/ abusive / bad when we were together.
Save_the_Manatees_44 argues back:
YTA and you’re also an idiot. I mean honestly. There’s no way you’re actually naive enough to think this wouldn’t cause issues. Life isn’t a porno. Sisters don’t share men. Her sister was even more in the wrong than you. But either way, no. Just no.
Thebeatybunch makes a point regarding relationship length and points out other people inflating the true intention:
You dated for 6 months, not 6 years. You didn't seek her sister out - you ran into her and you dated her for a whole, what? 4 months? 6 months? There was a 4 year difference.
How much can you really invest into a relationship that only lasts 6 months? Not much. You're still getting to know the person, really. Unless there is more to this, you're still the AH but not a big one like some of the comments are making you out to be.
You just don't date sisters/friends/best friends/mothers of your exes, aunts of your exes, cousins of your exes....etc etc - you get the drift. The sister is also an AH here.
El_Matcho448 offers support to the OP:
TBH I don’t think you’re the AH. You didn’t date the younger sister in spite, you’re dating her because you like her. The older sister may not be ok with it now and her family might be mad but if they are adults they will get over it.
If you set boundaries with both of them then it could be better. This kinda stuff happens all the time and the people telling you that you’re a jerk for being with someone you like is ridiculous.
I understand the hurt feelings but they are acting like you got married to the first sister and had 4 kids and a country home 😭 it was 6 months TWO YEARS AGO 🤦