When this man is over the rivalry he created with his SIL at her wedding, he asks Reddit:
My brother got married 10 years ago to "Carly" and they asked to use my beachfront property as the venue. I said sure but you have to pay me. It's not like I can let someone use it for free and I don't have costs such as utilities. I'm not rich like that.
They were insulted so I told them to ask Carly's rich daddy to pay. That set in motion a longstanding grudge between Carly and me. My brother got over it after he understood where I was coming from. They ended up doing quite well. I guess she felt insulted and entitled and I refused to apologize.
They have a 7yo son "Addison" who I'm very close to. I'm like a second dad to that kid. My brother has been battling cancer for a few years and his health is declining. He made it clear that he wants me to play an active role in Addison's life and be the dad he won't be able to be.
The only person making that hard is Carly. I finally told her that my brother's impending death is bigger than your grudge against me and you need to drop it because your only child is going to need me more than ever.
She said not to talk to her that way. I said I'm not my brother and I'm not your dad. I don't think you're a princess. Grow up. If I were you, then I'd learn from this and do what's best for that boy. AITA?
YTA. 'I told them to ask Carly's rich daddy to pay.' 'I said I'm not my brother and I'm not your dad. I don't think you're a princess. Grow up. If I were you, then I'd learn from this and do what's best for that boy.'
Gee, I wonder why she doesn't want you around? In all honesty, given how you speak to and about her, it actually might not be in Addison's best interests to be around you. You are rude to people and then refuse to apologise; this is also a pretty poor example to set.
She's about to lose her husband and you showed absolutely no compassion, only contempt.
ESH. If your brother dies, she will have the first, last and every word in between on the subject of who has contact with her son. There is no way around that. Uncle's rights isn't a thing.
And frankly, you come across as extremely full of yourself. That child "needs" you? No, he doesn't. There are other ways for her to find positive male role models for her son. While I agree that she's wrong for nurturing a grudge, in her position, I wouldn't want you around my son either.
YTA you come off so patriarchal and obnoxious in your post, so I can only imagine what it’s like in person. “you need to drop your grudge!” Has never solved any grudge!
Should’ve tried a NTA approach: “I would like to put the animosity between us to rest. My brother/your husband is dying and I want to make peace for his sake and for your son’s sake. I would like to be a part of his life…”
Out of curiosity how much were you going to charge them to use your beach house? Do you rent it out and you just wanted what you’d lose by letting them use it? Or were greedy in what you wanted to charge theme? It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to charge lost revenue. It’s iffy if you’re trying to profit off them.